To Indeed Be a God

Yawp!

TW: brief mention of suicidal ideation
PSA: besties I wrote Claire's poem myself 🧍‍♂️

Claire was sitting at her desk and doing her best to finish an essay on Joan of Arc when her pencil broke. She reached for her pencil sharpener only to remember that she lent it to Knox. And she reached for a new pencil only to find that she was on her last one.

Claire groaned and walked across the hall, knocking on the door.

"Come in," Todd called from inside.

She opened the door, "Hey, Todd. Do you have a pencil sharpener I can use real quick?"

"Yeah," he said, turning his writing pad over, "it's on my desk, by the trig book."

"You're a doll, Todd," she walked over to the desk to sharpen her pencil.

Neil ran into the room laughing. He crouched next to Todd's bed and plunked a sheet of paper in Todd's lap.

"I found it," he said.

"You found what?" Todd answered, looking at the paper.

"What I wanna do right now. What's really, really inside me!"

"A Midsummer Night's Dream?"

"This is it," Neil said with a smile.

Claire finished sharpening her pencil, but stuck around and watched with an amused smile.

Todd frowned, "What is this?"

"It's a play, dummy," Neil said.

"I know that. I-- Wh-Wh-What does it have to do with you?"

"Right. They're putting it on at Henley Hall. Open tryouts. Open tryouts!" Neil cried.

"Yes, so?"

Neil pounded on the bed and then pulled a blanket off his bed, wearing it like a cloak.

"So, I'm gonna act. Yes, yes! I'm gonna be an actor! Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to try this. I even tried to go to summer stock auditions last year, but, of course, my father wouldn't let me. For the first time in my whole life I know what I wanna do," he grabbed a handful of papers off Todd's bed and tossed them into the air, "and for the first time, I'm gonna do it whether my father wants me to or not! Carpe diem!"

"Neil, Neil, hold on a minute. How are you gonna be in a play if your father won't let you?"

"First I gotta get the part, then I can worry about that,"

"Yeah, but won't he kill you if he finds out you went to an audition and didn't even tell him?"

"No, no, no, no. As far as I'm concerned, he won't have to know about any of this,"

"Well, that's impossible,"

"Bullshit! Nothing's impossible," Neil said with a great smile.

"Well, why don't you just call him and ask him? And m-maybe he'll say yes,"

"That's a laugh!" Neil tossed the blanket back onto his bed, "If I don't ask him, at least I won't be disobeying him."

"Yeah, but if he said-"

Neil suddenly shouted angrily, "Jesus, Todd! Whose side are you on?"

Todd said nothing.

Claire scoffed, "God, Neil. What's your damage? Todd's just trying to help,"

"Shut up, Claire," Neil said rather quietly.

Neil looked at Todd for a moment and then took

the flyer back. He walked over to the window, his excitement gone, "I mean, I haven't even gotten the part yet. Can't I even enjoy the idea for a little while?"