Beautiful Scar (CEO Series #2)

Chapter 38

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

Chapter 38

We stayed in my condo for the next days. My situation became worst as I always want to lay down on my bed and do nothing but to cry. Noah is having a hard time to feed me. But he never left my side. He's being patient with me.

I just lost my reasons to live that's why I'm like this.

I badly wanted to blame that old woman. Who is she to decide for my daughter's life as a payment? But nothing will happen if I'll blame her for the rest of my life. Nangyari na ang nangyari. Hindi na mababalik pa ang buhay ng anak ko kung sisisihin ko siya. I just hope that she will forever rot in jail and she deserves to be in so much pain more than I am experiencing now.

Today, Noah was out for a while as he still meeds to take care of that old woman's case. Aside from kidnapping, she has another cases she needs to face. Patong patong na kaso na ata.

That's why I am all alone here in my condo. Kahit saan ako tumingin o pumunta sa bawat sulok nito ay may ala-ala ni Ana. Para ko siyang nakikita muli simula baby pa siya hanggang sa dito na rin siya lumalaki.

Napadaan ako sa salas pero ang naalala ko lang ay si Ana na nag-aaral at tinuturuan ko.

"Mommy look, my teacher and tutor gave me lots of stars." she exclaimed and showed me her hands and books full of stars.

"Wow baby. I am proud of you. You're so smart, huh?" I happily said.

"Just like you, Mom." she answered and giggled.

Ana is really smart. Madaling turuan at active din siya sa school simula nag-aral siya. She's not a timid child.

Umiling ako at nagpatuloy sa pagpunta ko sa kitchen. Gusto ko lang naman kumuha ng tubig pero puro si Ana ang naaalala ko.

"Mommy, ako po sinali ni teacher sa Buwan ng Wika. As a binibini daw po?" she pouted and think if what she said was right.

I remember how confused she was while trying to pronounce the word 'binibini' right. I-If only you haven't died, I think you will be fond of pageants and school activities.

Kumuha ako ng tubig at agad na pumasok ulit sa kwarto. Pero sa kama nakita ko ang sarili at si Ana na nakakandong sa akin while we are having a talk.

Lumapit ako sa kama at umupo habang tumutulo nanaman ang mga luha.

"Will you be happy too, Mommy?"

She genuinely smiled at me.

I missed your smile. I love seeing you smile like my whole life depends on it.

"Of course, I'd love to meet Daddy po. But I respect your decision, too. I love you po and I also want my Mom to be happy." malambing niyang sambit.

I am not happy right now Anastasia. If you want Mommy to be happy, you shouldn't have left me. You're my happiness, anak.

"A-Ayoko na, please... Ayoko nang maramdaman 'tong sakit na 'to." umiling-iling pa ako.

Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano pa ako makakausad. Kung paano ko pa maipagpapatuloy yung buhay ko. Parang ang hirap magpatuloy kung yung taong ginawa kong mundo at sentro ng buhay ko ay nawala nalang bigla.

Hinawakan ko ang dibdib dahil sa sobrang bigat nito. Pinagsusuntok ko iyon.

"Ang s-sakit... pano ka ba mawawala?"

Ang hirap ng feeling na para akong bumabalik sa dati. Yung buhay ko na hindi ko alam ano ang gagawin, kung paano pang mabuhay pa.

I really feel so lost, empty and hurt again. The pace of my life where I thought I couldn't face again. I thought I'm done with this, but it came back with a worst one.