Tattoos And Cigarettes [A Destiel Fanfiction]

Any Way The Wind Blows

A/N: Teehee, that picture is of me. Also, I need new friends.. You guys should kik me sometime.

It had been 3 months since Cas had been institutionalised. Dean felt so responsible. He didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. Cas isn't coming home for a long time. Gabriel had explained a few weeks after the incident. Gabe had told Dean like he was an incompetent 5 year old who didn't understand the concept of time. Dean knew, he wasn't stupid. Dean knew what happened.

Castiel had told Dean he didn't want to live, why didn't Dean just follow him. It's all my fault, I can't do a goddamn thing right, Dean told himself every morning. He couldn't take looking in the mirror anymore. Dean had taken the mirror down in his room on account of hating what he saw each morning. Mary had let Dean get homeschooled, so he could cope better. It only gave Dean an excuse to sleep more, and eat less. He still had outstanding grades, but it didn't make him feel any better.

Dean rewatched Breakfast Club every chance he got. It made him think of Cas and their first "date". Dean had stopped crying after a month or two. He physically couldn't cry. He felt like his world was crashing down. And it didn't help that there was this growing hole in his chest. He wanted to just give up. But every time he wanted to, it was like Gabriel had read his mind. He would call and say Cas says he misses you, or ,Cas can't wait to get out and see you again.

Castiel had only called Dean once, just to apologise for everything he had done. He promised Dean he would see him again someday.

Dean didn't know if he could wait that long.

~~~~~~

It had been a year, and Castiel was coming home. Dean didn't want to see him. He didn't think he could handle that. The hole in his stomach had made such an impact, that there was no room for Cas anymore. Dean laid in his bed, reading texts Cas kept sending.

Dean, I'm coming home!! You should swing by! Sent: 11:43 a.m

Dean, I can see you're reading these. Sent: 12:00 p.m

Dean. Answer me. Please. Sent: 12:30 p.m

I'm coming over. Sent: 12:45 p.m

Dean still wasn't getting out of bed and getting ready. He laid in bed, just staring at the blank wall beside him. Dean wanted to just sleep forever. He didn't think Castiel could ever fix him.

"Dean, you have a visitor.." Mary piped up. Dean jumped a bit, he was startled. He didn't even hear the door open. "Uhm.. I think he's asleep." Mary whispered to someone.

Dean knew it was Cas because of the scruff voice that replied, "can I go in anyway?"

Dean knew that Mary had said yes in some sort of signal, because the door closed and he heard footsteps coming toward him. He felt the bed dip a bit behind him. Oh God. Dean thought, please don't touch me.

A finger poked the back of Dean's head. "Wake up." A voice demanded. Dean sat up and saw Cas. He quickly averted his eyes. He didn't want Cas to see how broken he was or how pale he'd gotten. Castiel noticed anyway. He grabbed Dean's chin and turned it toward him. "Dean, look at me, please." Dean reluctantly turned his eyes to Cas. Fuck, I missed you. Dean thought. Cas smiled. "Hey, Winchester."

Remember that hole Dean had? Yeah, forget it. Castiel filled the hole in like 2 fucking seconds.

Dean smiled. It felt good to smile again. Dean grabbed the back Castiel's head gently and brought it forward. He laid his forhead on Cas's and closed his eyes. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes. "Dean, you're crying." Cas took his thumb and raked it across Dean's cheek, cleaning up the tears that rolled down his face. It was useless, new tears replaced the old ones. They just kept coming. Dean had never been happier.