Tattoos And Cigarettes [A Destiel Fanfiction]

Sometimes Wish I'd Never Been Born At All

It was a sunny afternoon. Castiel was a bit humid in his funeral suit. He sat silently and peered over Dean's coffin. Dean looked peaceful. He looked like a child. Castiel couldn't help but smile at his lover. He was beautiful. He was holding Mary's hand and she was crying.

He looked over at Sam. Sam was crying into his husbands shoulder. Gabriel was rocking him back and forth. John was crying silently. He stared over at his dead son. He felt like absolute shit. He felt like he wasn't good enough for Dean. He silently started to beak down.

Castiel wondered what would have happened if he had died instead of Dean. Castiel then wondered what Dean is doing in the afterlife. He settled back in his seat and played with the sleeves on his jacket. He didn't have any piercings in his face anymore. He took them out. His hair was normal. He had changed, just for Dean. Before they lowered the casket, people went up to say things. Mary and John went, apologising that they couldn't save their boy. Sam and Gabriel were next, Sam told about what they did as kids and how Sam shoved a little army man into the car once. John chuckled at that, remembering how hard it was to get that out. He never got it out.

Then it was Castiel's turn. He stood up and bit his lip. He coughed and took out a sheet of paper. He sighed, and stuffed it back in his pocket. "Reading off a note seems like I'm just acting and reading my lines. I'm just going to make it up as I go along." He sighed. It was silent for a while before he started.

"Dear, Dean..

I'm sorry. I wish I could take everything back. Our first meeting wasn't very.. Pleasant. I was rude to you. I'm sorry.. You deserved so much more. You don't deserve the way I treated you. I didn't let you love me. And once I did, you left me. And I'm sorry I can't change that. There's a time and a place to die, but I feel like this ain't it. I feel like you had so much more to do.. I still love you Dean Winchester." Castiel opened the box with a ring. He slipped the ring on Dean's hand. "I will always love you.. Our love was God. Let's go get a slushy." He wiped his eyes and walked off. Mary stopped him and gave him an envelope. He opened it slowly and cocked his head to the side. The note read 'She's all yours' and it had the keys to the impala in it. Mary smiled at him.

Castiel couldn't watch Dean's body being buried in the ground. He didn't want his last image of his lover to be of his body being covered in dirt. Castiel walked to the impala. He sat inside and caressed the steering wheel. All the memories of them in this car came flooding back. The laughs, the late night sex, the small kisses, the time Castiel breathed on the window and wrote CN+DW on it. And how Dean erased the N and put a W. Castiel thought he was being romantic, but Dean was serious that day. Dean promised a marriage. Dean swore.

Now Castiel was alone. He should be used to it. For years he was alone. But once he got the taste of Dean, he craved love more than ever. Castiel shook the thoughts away. This was it. Dean was gone. Castiel was going to live his life to the fullest now. He searched the glove compartment until he found the notebook. He started with the one they left off at.

Number 56: Go to Argentina

Castiel smiled. He was going. He would start a new life there. He would do everything he could to finish this. He would do it for Dean. He looked up at the sky and smiled. "I'll be home soon, Dean. Don't wait up on me."

Fin

*Whoops what's that the end? Yeah. I'm pissed off so this was a shitty ending but dEAL WITH IT MOTHET FUCKERS. *throws table out window* But yeah. I hope you guys liked this story. I hated it in some parts. But I'm making a new story. So check it out once I post the first chapter. I'm no good with this stuff, so sorry. Just a heads up, next story is depressing as Hell. There probably won't be any smut, maybe some masterbation. But Idk yet.. Sorry. I love you guys. Thank you again..*