Tattoos And Cigarettes [A Destiel Fanfiction]

Momma Just Killed A Man

"Nothing will happen to us." Cas stated simple over the phone. Dean was starting to worry about them. Castiel had to constantly remind them that nothing was wrong, everything would be fine. And yet, Dean never felt fine. He felt that at any moment, Castiel would disappear out of Dean's life forever.

Castiel was never bothered by reassuring Dean that they would stay together. He liked being able to say that they'd be together until they died. He loved the idea of it. And he knew for sure that nothing would happen.

Dean sniffled, "I love you.."

Castiel smiled. He would never get tired of hearing those words. He snuggled up to his pillow. "I love you most, darling." Dean blushed. Castiel constantly gave him cute pet names. Dean always blushed and became all awkward. Castiel thought it was the cutest thing. "I wish I were there with you.." Castiel murmured sleepily.

"I wish you were too.." Dean smiled.

"I'd cuddle you so hard."

Only Cas could make cuddling sound sexual. Dean thought. He sighed and checked the time. "I should go. It's three in the morning. I don't think that's healthy." Cas laughed. They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up.

Even though they both stopped talking, they didn't sleep well. Dean was thinking of their future together. Their life, their family, their house, Hell- he was even thinking about their pets.

Cas was thinking about bees.

~~~~~~

Summer was over, and school was back in swing. Dean walked into school with a stack of books in his arms. Castiel didn't even have a backpack. He just swung his leather jacket over his shoulder and helped Dean carry, like, one book. Since they were back in school, Castiel wasn't the normal sweet guy Dean had spent time with over summer. He was back to putting up his bad ass front that made Dean swoon. Castiel had dip dyed his tips to pink... It was Gabriel's idea.

Castiel kissed Dean lightly on the forehead and he walked out of the building. He went to his little gazebo and smoked. They were thinking of tearing it down, that would devastate Cas. He had his cigarette burns, his signature, his flower drawings all over this thing. He scratched at the wood with his fingernail, taking off the paint. Meg ran over to him. "Clarence?"

Cas rolled his eyes and turned around with a fake smile on his face. "Meggie, long time no see."

She smiled and pulled out her own cigarette. "Mind if I sit?" Before Castiel could answer, she sat beside him. She grabbed Cas's lighter out of his pocket and lit up. Cas grit his teeth. Obnoxious little assbutt, he thought. Meg smiled up at him. "You look hot today, have I told you that?"

Castiel shook his head and stubbed out his cigarette. "No, but you didn't have to tell me- I already kind of knew." He chuckled. Meg rolled her eyes.

This one on one conversation was short lived when Garth approached from behind. He pulled out his own cigarette and smiled, digging into Cas's pocket for a lighter. "Why is everyone skipping class?" Castiel muttered.

"Probably because we'd rather play in traffic then listen to, whats-er-face, Hester? Yeah we'd rather do that than listen to Hester teach." Garth put the lighter back in Cas's pocket. They all sat in science for a while. Meg crawled into Cas's lap to seduce him, and then Garth crawled into Meg's lap to crush Cas.

Dean was content in his little classroom. But he felt the urge to smoke. Which was knew. He smiled and thought about how cool it'd be to live like Castiel.

~~~~~~

Castiel was sitting at the park, smoking a cigarette. He was watching the clouds, making shapes into them as they went by. He sighed and stubbed out his cigarette. He really loved Dean. And he hated to admit it, really. Dean was turning him soft.

Dean, on the other hand, was already soft. Castiel was turning him hard (in all ways). Dean had begun cursing more, he longed for the smell of smoke-it was comforting, he loved old movies, he threw away his stupid sweater vests and traded them in for leather jackets and plaid shirts. His mother noticed. She liked how he was slowly coming out of his shell. His father didn't care either way, just as long as he wasn't drinking, smoking, or snorting something, he was fine.

Little did John know, Dean was drinking. He and Cas would spend their weekends drinking champagne (because Cas had stopped the strong stuff) and staring at the stars.

Whenever they were apart, Cas felt so lost. Cas always missed him. Missing him was a big part of his day. He'd see Dean every now and again throughout classes, and then no more. Dean had started hanging out with Castiel's friends. He started drinking worse things that champagne. He was smoking weed like there was no tomorrow.

At first, Castiel thought it was hot. Dean was different, it was sexy as Hell for him. But after a few months, Cas realised Dean was changing. And he blamed himself. Dean wasn't this cute little nerdy boy with the soft sweaters and huge ass glasses. He never wanted to talk with Cas anymore, he wanted sex. A lot. Cas didn't mind, but.. This wasn't Dean.

This wasn't bothering Cas as much, because he didn't know what Dean did at the parties he didn't go to. Dean was getting so high off of things he wasn't even sure existed. He would fuck around with people. He had sex with other boys-even girls. Castiel didn't know. He was oblivious to Dean's activities. Cas mostly drank the champagne and stared at the stars by himself.

~~~~~~

"I just don't understand why you're just now telling me this!" Castiel shouted. Dean showed him a little baggie of crushed up pills he was snorting. "I didn't think it mattered." Dean mumbled, clearly already high off of something. Or maybe he was just brain dead. "It's been five months, Dean. And you haven't told me until now?"

Dean shrugged and grinned stupidly, "whoops.."

Castiel crossed his arms. "You need help."

"Help?" Dean cocked an eyebrow. "And you don't?" He grabbed Cas's wrist and pulled up his sleeve. New scars littered his forearm. Castiel yanked his arm away. "Know why I do it? Because of you." He stated simply.

"Fuck you." Dean spat venomously. "I don't need your shit. You're not my goddamn mother."

"I am your loving and caring boyfriend!" Cas grit his teeth.

"Yeah?" Dean chuckled. "Not anymore, bitch."

Castiel could have sworn his heart stopped. "Wait. What?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "I'm leaving you."

"Why?" Castiel slowly sank back down into his chair.

"Dude, have you not noticed that I stopped caring about you forever ago? I mean, damn. I've fucked plenty of people and I've blown you off. Didn't you get the hint?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes. "You cheated on me?"

Dean laughed. "Duh! You wouldn't have sex with me. You wanted to talk about marriage, and kids, and what-the-fuck-ever. Does it look like I care about that?" Dean grabbed his bag of pills. "I'm leaving." Before Cas could stop him he slammed the door harshly.

No, it's okay Cassie. It's only a dream. You'll wake up, enveloped in Dean's arms. The Dean you fell in love with. Just wake up.. Wake up..

Castiel couldn't cry. Nothing was coming out. He only felt sick. He could have sworn this would last forever.. He stared at the floor. This is all my fault.. he thought, I should have never talked to him. He would be okay. He would be happy. This is all my fault.

*AHAHAHAHA HI GUYS.

I'm depressed, what a surprise.

I swear, I can't make anyone happy. I hate myself really badly. Kind of want to throw myself off a building or go play tag in a busy street.

But I won't. I guess. I don't know why I wouldn't. There's not much of a reason to stay.

Jesus, now I sound like a fucking baby. Sorry. I'll stop. K. Sorry for all the brooding in this chapter.*