Tattoos And Cigarettes [A Destiel Fanfiction]

Body's Achin' All The Time

Dean had fallen into a coma. He was unresponsive. Castiel had stopped eating or sleeping. He loved Dean, he wouldn't leave his side. He'd even argue with the doctors if they tried to make him leave. He got kicked out of the room once, but slept in the waiting room.

Castiel had turned to drinking. Again. It helped him feel better. He would drink and drink until he couldn't drink enough. He'd sneak in Dean's hospital room late at night and tell him about his day.

When drinking quit working, Castiel started drugs again.. But it wasn't like it was last time. He was a dope fiend. He'd rob actual drug stores with Sodapop Curtis an Dallas Winston. They'd never gotten caught, which they were lucky for. But Cas would shoot up constantly, then go and see Dean. He'd keep promising that if Dean got better, he would too.

It was a silly promise.

~~~~~~

Eventually Dean finally woke up. Only to find a high as a kite Castiel watching Teletubbies on his phone and giggling. Dean tried to speak, but his voice box was AWOL. He tapped Castiel and Castiel jumped. "O-Oh my God. Dean?" Dean nodded. "Why can't you talk?" Castiel poked Dean's throat and Dean swatted his hand away. If I knew, I'd tell you dammit. Dean thought. He only shrugged and held his throat. It was dry. Castiel stood up and almost fell over. "Whoopsies.." He muttered and grabbed a paper cup. He put some tap water in it and gave it to Dean. Dean drank quickly and mumbled something. The water was almost helping. But it seemed as if Dean had forgotten how to use his words.

Castiel giggled, "poor baby.. He's all sick." Dean felt something inside him snap-probably his heart. Cas seemed to just stop caring. But when Dean trailed his eyes down Cas's arms, he saw.. Everything.

Scars from cutting, shooting up. Scars. Just so many damn scars. It was more than Dean to bear, it couldn't be real. Dean choked on held back tears and he turned away so he wouldn't have to see Castiel. "I'll be back tomorrow, Deanie." Castiel assured. He gave him a kiss on the forehead.

~~~~~~

It was two months since Castiel had last kissed Dean. Dean felt the same spot on his forehead always burning with anger. How could Castiel leave him like this? It wasn't Dean's fault he was sick. Dean didn't ask for this. Hell, Dean didn't ask to be born.

Each night he would pray. Now, Dean wasn't a very ritualistic dude, nor was he religious. But he prayed harder than he'd ever prayed before. He just wanted to see Castiel one last time. Just once was all he wanted. After he was finished praying, he would cry. He felt like someone was always beside him, whispering for him to give up. Because what did it matter? Dean had no one. Sure, his family would visit him. But he'd missed out on so much. Gabriel and Sam were married, and Dean never said anything, but seeing them together made him sick. It reminded him of the life he and Cas could of had.

After half of a year had gone by, Dean had forgotten everything. So, he would write everything down in his diary. Anything he could remember, he'd write down so he'd never forget. One thing was always on his mind though-and it was Castiel. He'd never forget him.

He'd never forget the way Cas's eyes crinkled at the corners when he would smile. He'd never forget the way Cas's eyes shined when he would remember something funny and start laughing. He'd never forget when Castiel would give Dean puppy dog eyes if he couldn't have his way, then eventually he'd have his way. Dean would never forget. He was still so hopelessly in love. And it was making his mental state worth to keep thinking about his little angel.

March 18th (I think?)

It's been a year since I've seen Castiel. I've only got 6 more months to live. At least that's what the doctors say. I want to go ahead and quit. But I have a glimmer of hope that Castiel will come back to me.