June - We Were Beautiful

11 : We Were Confused

Beam's P.O.V

Will you marry me?" The one sacred question any soul who are madly in love will asked their other half, signifying the advancement of a relationship further more into a unity.

But really, why bother if you're gonna leave me anyway...

Ahhh..I'm crying again.

The breeze feels so nice today....

...or maybe its just because I'm on top of this building.

I hope we meet again someday in another life...

And I hope....

No..

I will be... Yes I will be...

I will be the very best person ever that will enter your life and I promise you all the happiness in this world.

Sorry for everything....

But.... I can't continue....without you...

I wish....

God I wish this heartaches will stop.

One second,

"Will you marry me...for real? I will make you the happiest man in this world like you made me." He put the ring he bought weeks ago to my ring finger then kiss me deeply before I can even give my response to him.

Then the next,

"Tell me that is not true? He's not my Tee. He is Beam. Mum..tell me you're joking? This is a joke isn't it? HOW CAN HE BE TEE?!! We...Gosh! I can't...I'm sorry. I need..."

The happiness doesn't last long.

The horrified look in Phi Tae eyes at that time and the way he refused my touch after, makes me feel like he's disgusted by me.

"I'm sorry but I'm so confused right now. Can we take a break until everything make sense at least for me?"

The breeze feels nice. I wish it can take my pain away too or should I...

"Beam.." Its Phana. My brother. The only brother I have. Not Phi Tae. He is not...Ahh.. this tears keeps coming down. Phana's warm body engulfed me into a tight hug. We stayed like that until the sun turns orange.

"...lets go home." Phana tugged my hand to follow him. I'm too numb to feel anything right now. Phi Tae had leave me to face this misery alone.

"Pha~. It hurts." I cried more, I don't know for how long.

~~~~~

Here I am, sitting outside my apartment balcony, hugging my knees while staring aimlessly at the view in front of me. I miss him. He doesn't answer my calls, my messages. No one knows where he went.

"Beam.." Phana voice penetrate my ear but I'm too sad to even lift my head to face him. I'm just gonna cry anyway.

Nothing can comfort me nowadays.

Not mum.

Not Phana.

Not Moe. Where is she anyway?

Ming was also there but its weird having him trying to be nice to me. Has he been crying? Did Phana argued with him again and made him cry?

"We need to go to Phi Tae house. His mum wants to see you." I didn't respond to Phana words.

His mum?

My mum?

They obviously knew eachother.