Screwball (Baffy/BugsxDaffy Fanfic)

I'm A Very Looney Toon

I wake up feeling energized. I jump from my bed and run downstairs, faster than a kid on Christmas day. "Woohoo! I'm alive!"

Bugs stares at me while taking a sip of coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Sthorry. Its just that I like to be consciousth."

I walk to the kitchen and grab a raw fish. I then swallow it whole, because I had a strong craving for fish.

Also, I'm a duck if you haven't noticed by now. 

I wash my hands, sit on my recliner, and turn on the TV. My favorite show isn't playing, so instead I turn on a random channel playing a movie.

"Did you just swallow a raw fish whole?" Bugs seemed confused, concerned, and for some reason, disgusted.

"Uh, yeah. What'sth the big deal?" I continue watching the movie.

Bugs sighed and washed out his mug. "When are you going to finish the story?"

I groaned. Why did he want me to finish it so bad? It's not going to help him in any way. "Later."

"I'm taking you to the doctor later."

"What, why?"

Bugs had a smirk on his face that he was trying, and failing, to hide. "I either take you to the doctor, or you finish the story. "

I knew what he was trying to do. "Fine. Take me to the doctor." I knew he couldn't, because he was never planning to take me in the first place.

Bugs's whiskers twitched and his ears flopped down, but only for a second. "Fine. We're leaving in thirty minutes." He walked out of the room.

How do I get out of this situation? I stare at the wall for 25 minutes. I can feel him, creeping up on me. The wacky, crazy, and looney version of me. I know I have a screw or two loose, but this guy is insane! He's been creeping up on me since I woke up yesterday, invading my body and my thoughts every once in a while. I know shouldn't have lied to Bugs about it yesterday, but if I told him, he'd think I was crazy!

He's getting closer and closer. I can hear his footsteps, his breathing. He can only control me if he's touching me, and nobody can see him. I never asked, but they would be the ones asking questions if he was visible to everyone else.

I need to escape him. I don't want him taking control of my life! So I did what I do best. Be a rude, inconsiderate jerk. I don't care what Bugs thinks. I need that knockoff to back off.

"Hey, lunatic!"

He stopped walking. "What did you call me?" His voice was a higher pitch than mine.

"A lunatic. Do I need to spell it for you? L-U-N-A-T-I-C. Lunatic."

If it was me, I would start yelling and cursing. (I'm forced to use my limited PG vocabulary.) But instead he just slapped me across the face and started jumping around. "Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!" He was making a fool of himself. 

"What are you doing, Daffy?!" Bugs started to walk down the stairs, but froze in his tracks. Did he see him? "Uhh, Daffy, what did you do?"

I looked back at... We'll call him Dummy. I looked back at Dummy and then looked back at Bugs. "You can sthee him? I thought I was just imagining thingsth. I didn't do anything. He just... appeared after I woke up yestherday.  He'sth been following me around and taking control of my body sthince then." I was speaking as if this happened everyday. It almost seemed like I was as crazy as Dummy. But in reality, I was trying to make Dummy feel as if he wasn't a threat.