Screwball (Baffy/BugsxDaffy Fanfic)

Don't Mess With Yakko (Or His Friends)

I stared down at our hands and I felt my heart beating in my throat. I was still trying to process what just happened, and this wasn't helping. I let go of Bugs's hand and looked around. The trees were practically walls, and it was still raining. I didn't want to look at Bugs, because I would get more nervous than I already was. I looked at an area of trees that wasn't as thick as the rest. It looked like I could go through quite easily. I stood up and walked over, trying to see if there was something back there, because I could have sworn that I saw something shiny.

I slipped through all of the openings, a golden light shining through the trees. I could hear Bugs following me, but I never looked back. I was too focused on what it might have been, and my eyes turned into dollar signs. I went through another opening and tripped, landing in lush, green grass. The dollar signs disappeared, and all of the adrenaline left my body. I stood up and dusted myself off and realized I made it to another clearing. It's was a perfect circle. Bugs caught up with me. "Where-"

I gasped and ran over to a gold bar in the middle of the clearing. "Look! Gold!" My eyes became dollar signs again. "I'm rich!"

Bugs walked over. "Are you sure that's gold?"

"I'm pretty sure." I picked it up and inspected it.

"Let me see."

"No!" I tried to take it out of Bugs's reach, but Bugs was taller than me, even if it was only a few inches. He reached for the gold and it got blue when his hand went near. He quickly pulled his hand back and the blue didn't go away. "I think you broke it."

"I don't think that's gold."

"It obviously is."

"I'll prove to you that it isn't." Bugs took the gold away from me and it went all blue. "Gold isn't blue." Suddenly, the clearing fell like a broken elevator. I closed my eyes and jumped into Bugs's arms, instinctively. The clearing stopped moving as soon as it started, and I felt Bugs fall on his tail. He dropped me on the ground, my eyes still closed. "Daffy... open your eyes."

I opened my eyes, expecting to see walls of mud, but instead I saw a... blue forest. The leaves were more blue the closer they were to the ground, and there was blue fog weaving in between the trees. There were green vines hanging from them and a purple river like the one above flowing through the forest. And there were so many people. There were humans and animals of all different kinds with halos over their heads, sitting the the trees or running in the grass. Some of them had mallets, while others had harps, and some had water guns. They were all frozen in place, staring at us. I shakily stood up and just stared back at them. I looked at Bugs. I had been put on the spot, so I was naturally nervous.

"We have to get going..." I grabbed Bugs's hand, about to walk away, when suddenly, one of the people from the 'crowd' yelled.

"What do you mean we?"

I turned to whoever talked. "What do you mean, what do you mean?"

"There's nobody else there."

"But he's right here..." I pointed at Bugs.

They started to whisper to a friend, probably thinking I couldn't hear them. "This is probably why he has a guardian angel. I think he hallucinates often."

Bugs crossed his arms. "He does not!" Everyone seemed to ignore him.

I let go of Bugs's hand. "What?!" Suddenly, it clicked. They said something about guardian angels, because these were guardian angels. But if they were angels, why was this one so rude? "I do not hallucinate!"

They seemed surprised.

"Yeah! I heard you! I probably have the second best hearing in this room!" I quickly glanced at Bugs, who was just standing there looking confused.

The angel laughed and turned to her peers, pointing at me with her thumb. "Okay, who's nutcase is this? He doesn't even have ears! How would he hear?"

Where's your guardian angels when you need them? "For your information, I do have ears. But you'll never see them, because you're too busy being a rude, inconsiderate jerk!"

I see no irony in this. If anyone does, then don't say a word.

My eyes started to water a bit, but I was able to keep any tears from spilling. I wasn't offended that she said I didn't have ears, or that she said I hallucinate. Well, maybe a little. Or a lot. I was mostly just angry, because she knew that this would make me cry. I can see it in her eyes. She was still whispering rumors.

Then suddenly, I got an idea. I decided that I would let the tears spill. Just not quite yet. I smiled, even though it seemed (and was) forced. Then I pretended to laugh. Bugs and the other angels looked at me, confused. I started to think of things that made me laugh, until it was at least halfway genuine. A part of me wanted to cry, and I let that happen, while laughing. The angel was staring at me. "I'm sorry, I just-" I thought of a meme and burst out laughing. I wiped away some tears, still crying inside. "I'm sorry, I just... I just thought it was funny how... how..." I continued to laugh, and even though it became fake again, it still did the trick. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I just thought it was ironic that the devil would be a better guardian angel than you. Say, who are you even supposed to be watching over? They're probably dead already."

The angel gasped and started walking over.

"Don't even try." Yakko, Wakko, and Dot walked out of the crowd and next to me. Yakko took out his mallet.

She chuckled a bit. "This is why you should work alone. You're better than this." She gestured to his siblings, and I saw his hands start to shake, almost dropping his mallet. "They just get in the way."

I could see the fire in Yakko's eyes. He let out a high pitched scream, lifted his mallet, and moved faster than the speed of light.