𝙹𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙴𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 || 𝙸𝚠𝚊𝙾𝚒

| 06 |

August/5th/2017

Afraid.

If I had to describe my current feeling in one word, it'd be afraid.

I've just gotten back from an appointment with Mika-san and she helped me realize something. Something I don't understand.

I thought it wouldn't be past a stupid crush, but it's so, so much worse.

Love.

We were talking about Iwa-chan and I accidentally went off on a tangent and then the direction of our appointment changed completely.

I feel like Mika-san was interrogating my feelings and all just to tell me I should think about whether or not I love my best friend.

Obviously I love him, but it's platonic! Anything past that could ruin our friendship and I can't risk that. Saying that though, he truly is a really really great friend, one of a kind. Everything about him is perfect, every minute I spend with him is perfect.

But I don't love him romantically.

When you love someone you feel comfortable with them no matter the circumstances, they make you feel cared for, safe, they make you feel happier than you ever have before, a simply display of affection from someone you love is like a stress reliever from the gods. Someone you love is someone you can't help but think about a lot, someone you can't help but want to be around, someone you want to spend every waking minute of your life with, someone you want to make precious memories with, and someone, who at the end of the day, you'll always hope will be there for you just like you would be for them.

...

Fuck.

I think I might be in love with Iwa-chan.

~Sincerely,
Tooru Oikawa