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by koi_coffee_

by koi_coffee_

..for the sake of me being at peace, please, keep loving, because a life lived with no love is more painful than my passing could ever be.

~Sincerely,
Tooru Oikawa

««« • »»»

"Dammit Tooru.." Iwaizumi cursed underneath his breath, cold tears were streaming down his cheeks as he re-read Oikawa's journals entires.

"Why didn't I see it.." Iwaizumi mumbled, his shaky tone changing from that of sadness to anger.

"Why didn't I fucking see it?!" The dark-haired yelled, harshly running his hands through his hair as his tears kept flowing.

..I could've helped, I could've stopped him, if I said something sooner he'd still be here, and yet he's not here because of me..

"God fucking dammit Tooru!" Iwaizumi shouted loud, throwing the earthy green journal to the foot of his bed as he choked out a broken sob. "I'm sorry, so so sorry.."

Two words, two words Iwaizumi repeatedly mumbled as he let all pent up feelings out, anger, sadness, guilt, all of it. He knew he could've stopped Oikawa, he knew all that had to be said were three words, three words that he'd been to afraid to say. And that stupid fear of his left him missing the one person who meant most to him, his other half.

"I should've told you sooner.." Iwaizumi mumbled, his voice cracking as he spoke, coming out no higher than a whisper.

He let his teary eyed wander at his side before glancing to the newly framed picture that sat on his nightstand, the picture that'd been taken just the day before. July 20th, Oikawa's birthday, his last birthday.

Iwaizumi hated how happy Oikawa looked, such a sweet, joyful smile was plastered on the brunette's face, yet such a heartwarming smile hid pains greater than Iwaizumi would ever know. He hated it, he hated it because he couldn't see through it.

A bitter sigh escaped the dark-haired's lips as he held the picture close, more and more tears slipping away, leaving a regretful shine in what had been happy olive green eyes the other day.

"I'm sorry Tooru, I'm so so sorry.. I should've told you sooner.." Iwaizumi took a sharp inhale, pain lacing every noise he made.

Pulling back, he took one last look at the picture, a sad, quivering smile coming to his face as he looked at the last picture he took of himself and Oikawa smiling side by side.

"I love you.."

"But it's too late for that now.."

««« • »»»

crying :)

~koi