The Diavoli Forti

Chapter 28: Shrink

I pulled up to the college and stared at it. It still didn't seem real I was back. That I would be attending classes, studying, and coming home to do it again the next day. The sense of adventure and thrills is gone. From here on out it's plain and planned. I head to the Dean's office. I walk up to the grumpy looking secretary behind her desk buried in a book.

"McKenna Royce to see Dean Hamlin. He might be expecting me."

The secretary practically throws her book down and her eyes open wide, "Yes ma'am. Hang tight for just a moment." She jumps up and disappears into the Dean's office. Not even seconds later, the Dean himself, pops up. "Ms. Royce! How wonderful to see you. Come in." He motions to the door. I walk into his office and instantly feel nervous. I sit in the chair across from his desk. I start digging my nails into the sides of the chair trying to stop the shaking from being so nervous. I try to breathe out some words, "Sir.. um.. I'm here.. because I want to change my major before I start back. I want to major in business." He smiles at me. "Of course Ms. Royce. We can work with that. I'll have your new class schedule emailed to you before the end of the day and your books are taken care of and will be ready for pickup as soon as we are done here." He hollers for the secretary and she scurries in grabbing the note he scribbled on and scurries back out.

I am suddenly confused, "Excuse me sir, but don't I have to order and pay for my books?" He sits and smiles, "I took care of it for you." My face frowns. Why is he giving me free books? He feels sorry for me. "No disrespect sir, but I know you know about my situation. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. I can handle things on my own. Like buying my own books." He stands up and straightens his suit jacket. "Ms. Royce, given everything that has happened to you this year I want you to know that the school and its faculty are here for you. We want to make your transition back as easy as possible. So I ask of you not to question my actions. Clear?" I stand up and clear my throat, "Crystal."

He opens his door and motions for me to exit. "Keep in mind we have counselors on campus who are always here to talk to and help. My door is always open as well." I walk out the door and turn back to look at him, "I think seeing one shrink outside of school is enough. Thank you though." I grab my books from the campus store and head to the shrink's office. I pull into the parking lot and sit in my car as I contemplate actually going inside. I promised Leon and Rachel I would give it a shot. I just don't understand what talking about my feelings will do. I can't even tell this shrink the truth about everything because then it would be known I have not been completely honest about my whereabouts.

I go to open my door and see a familiar face standing in the entrance of the building. Kevin Weyland. Is he following me? I get out and immediately approach him, "You know detective, this might be considered boarder line stalking." He laughs and walks up to me, "Once again, a pleasure to see you McKenna. I was actually here getting some information on a client who's husband was recently murdered. I noticed you in your car and waited by to say hi. Nothing creepy about that." I try to hide a smile. His sarcasm was actually pretty humorous. With that handsome smile he had too, he's not that bad I guess. I realize I'm just staring at him like an idiot. He breaks the silence, "I'm glad you're talking to someone and getting help. I won't pressure you on what happened anymore, but it might be good to get it out and get practice before a court asks you and before I'm required by the department to pull you in for questioning again. I just don't want you to get on the stand and feel bombarded."

I take a deep breath, "I still haven't decided to press charges on Tony. What happened while I was gone should be up to me to discuss. I'll give you what information I can, but I feel I have the right to retain any personal endeavors I may have had. With all do respect, I really don't think it's any of your personal business either. You want to know, pull me in for questioning. Otherwise, don't worry about me." He tips his hat and gives a short smile, "I didn't mean to offend you, McKenna. I know it's a lot. Have a good day. I hope to see you again." He walks off leaving me speechless. Did he really just say he wants to see me again? Perhaps I was being unintentionally rude to him for no reason. After all, he's not after me. But he's after them. The Diavoli Forti. Therefore, that makes my stance with him complicated. By getting defensive I may have even put a target on my head. My head hurts from all the thoughts breaking its way in. I shake my head and walk into the building. I find the door with my shrink's suite number and knock. The door flys open and I see a tall, blonde woman. She looks to be in her 40s. She has short spiky hair, and wears bright striped clothing. She speaks and it nearly makes me turn around and leave she seems to eager, "McKenna Royce! So happy to see you! Come in! I'm Dr. Gianna." Her office smells like vanilla. She has a plant in at least every corner of the office. She motions for me to sit on the big, mustard yellow couch.

She clicks her pen and flips her notebook. "First things first today, McKenna. I want you to know everything you say here stays within these walls. It is completely confidential and does not leave this office unless I think you are a danger to yourself or others. I've seen your story everywhere and want you to know you don't have to be afraid to talk to me about how you feel or about what happened. This is a safe space." I scratch my head and hesitate for a moment, "So... whatever I say, about me and Tony, about my disappearance, about everything.. is completely confidential?" "Correct", she smiles, "unless something you say indicates you or someone else are in immediate danger." I relax a little into the sofa. Was I ready to talk about it? Could I trust her? Maybe Kevin is right, that talking about it will make me feel better. Maybe talking about it will help ease my conscience of the guilt I feel every night. The conflicting inside of me.What Curtis did to me still haunts my sleep. How much could I divulge without it being too much?

I take a deep breath, "Where do I start?"

"From the beginning." She smiles.