The Diavoli Forti

Chapter 39: Saying goodbye

Almost a week had passed. Funeral arrangements were finally made. JR fought hard for them to allow Tony to have a proper funeral. It was determined that there was not enough hard evidence to pin JR and the rest of the boys to any criminal or mafia acts. They were always careful. I was Tony's slip up. They were able to start making appearances in public. Of course caution was always taken. The city council was concerned about the kind of publicity it would draw in. They asked that the funeral remained as a closed casket. I couldn't even look at him one last time in the face to say goodbye. I woke up the morning of the funeral feeling a sense of calm. I was relieved I wasn't going to have to bury him alone. I hadn't seen my father and the rest of the boys in so long. I was happy to have them by my side.

I put on a long dress that the sleeves hung off the shoulder. I curled my hair and put it up in an elegant updo. My face was bare. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold back tears today. I take one last look before meeting the boys in the living room. I was riding with them to the funeral. I walk out and see Max, Jonathan, and Steve. I hadn't seen Steve since that night of the drop. I thought he died. I ran and hugged him.
"It takes a lot more than a bullet to get rid of me." I was relieved to see him standing. He tries to lighten the mood with humor as he hugs me tight. I look over to Jonathan. Him and I had a rocky start. From the day he slapped me I had a distaste for him that grew into friendship. In this moment though, we were family. We needed each other. I flew into his arms welcoming his embrace.

I walk up to Max, "I'm ready." I could tell by the boys' faces something was off.

"What's going on?" I ask.
Max forces a dumbfounded look on his face, "What are you talking about? Nothing? We are going to a funeral. Do you want me to leap for joy?"
I guess I could buy it. For now, anyway. All of them seemed seriously uncomfortable. "Let's go then." I grab his hand and pull him out the door behind me. We walk downstairs and I see JR's car. I couldn't help a smile come across my face. My relationship with JR had improved substantially. I started to see him more as my father and not a man that abandoned me as a child. Losing my mother was rough on him. I'm sure he guilted himself. Had he not left me with Leon I wouldn't have had or done the things I did growing up. Who knows what kind of life I would've had to live. One of JR's drivers was standing outside the car and opened the door for me, "Hello again, Ms. Royce." I slide into the seat and feel that familiar warmth and scent of cinnamon cigars.

"Hello, father." I reach my hand out to him.

"Hello, my beautiful daughter. I've missed you. I'm sorry to see you again under these circumstances." He grabs my hand and gently kisses it. He notices the scar on my wrist and turns my hand over. I feel the boys slide into the seat behind us. I pull my hand away and rub my wrists. I was uncomfortable letting my father see that. I hadn't even told Leon or Rachel. I called and made sure no bills for the hospital went to their address. The last thing I needed was for them to freak and put me under a microscope.

"We'll talk about it later." He flashes a reassuring smile at me and pats my leg. This was the first time any of us rode in a full car with JR. He usually liked to ride alone. It just goes to show how much we all need each other in circumstances like these, a tragedy. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes as the driver takes off. Sleep was rare these days. I felt so emotionally and physically drained, but still couldn't sleep. I start to doze off, thinking of Tony.

•••Flashback•••
I sat down on the couch waiting for Tony to finish packing his things so we could get in the car and hit the road again. I felt dead. I wanted to be dead. The events of last night with Curtis played in my head over and over.
Tony looks over and sees me staring off into oblivion. He stops packing, "Look, I know you think I don't understand, but trust me I do. I know what you're feeling. I am so sorry this happened. I can promise you it will be taken care of and as long as you're with me, you will never be hurt like that again."
I didn't acknowledge him. I didn't care. In a way this was his fault.

You lied Tony. I'm hurt again and this time it was caused by you.
The car pulled into the gravesite. There were only a few of the other guys there. Police. Some reporters. A priest. The casket. My heart sank when I looked at it. Closed. Unable to show the face that my heart desired. We walk up and take a seat. The priest starts his sermon and some of the guys go up to give speeches in his honor. The clicking of cameras echoes behind us as reporters snap pictures of Tony Morati's funeral. The priest's speech did nothing to me. Although when the boys went up, tears fell. Hearing all the publicly appropriate memories of Tony and how much he had lived, hurt. I was angry. Angry that I only got months and not even a full year with him and some of the boys had almost a lifetime. They say love has no timing. When you know, you know. That's how I felt about Tony Morati. When I first met him, I hated him. I didn't know him. The real him. The soft, gentle side that was tucked away by years of physical and sexual abuse from his father, by learning to survive on criminalistic ways, by witnessing friends and enemies murdered. I couldn't bring myself to stand up and give a speech especially with reporters and police already questioning my attendance. Once over, everyone gets up and starts mingling. JR walks over to the priest and speaks with him. I watch as the police try to push away the reporters. Then, my eyes catch a glimpse of a man leaning on a tree off to the back. I make my way to him.

"Detective Weyland. Here on business?" I stand next to him, unable to make eye contact after that night.

"I'm here for the community, the council, and yes for purposes of the case." I nod my head, not surprised. He turns to face me, "I have to admit, I'm shocked to see you here. The papers are going to have a field day with all the conspiracy theories."

I shrug, "...and what are yours Detective?" He clears his throat and hesitates before answering, "I think that you were a victim. Although a victim, you are human. Human's experience feelings and trauma. I think you are mixing them together. I think you let yourself mix them together for a man that took advantage of a situation."
I knew what he was insinuating. He was assuming that I did indeed fall in love with Tony due to my traumatic experience with him and Tony using that to his advantage to pleasure himself from emotionally and physically robbing me. That I can't tell the difference between trauma and love. Like I project Stockholm Syndrome. He was wrong. I am not broken. I am not clueless. I knew exactly what I was doing. I made these people my family. No one coerced me to do it. I chose to stay as a member not a captive.

"McKenna, I'm here for you. When it comes to you, you know I separate you from this case. Otherwise, I wouldn't have done what I did for you that night. About the phone call, I wasn't prying you for information. I was genuinely concerned for you." He moves in close to me. His face inches from mine. I could smell the mint in his breath. I remembered how much I wanted a taste of it. Our eyes stay locked on each other for several moments. Guilt twinged in my stomach. I can't think these things about another man right now. Especially not here, not now.

I go to speak until I'm interrupted, "Detective, nice to see you again. Have you come to try and pin some empty accusations on us?" JR walks up and I can see the look on his face. He does not like Weyland, but he still talks with professionalism.
"No sir, I'm here in support of the community and my connections with the state council. I am very sorry for your loss. I didn't really know Tony." Weyland backs away from me and stands up tall.
Max stands behind JR with a glare on his face. His eyes move back and forth from Weyland to me. JR reaches his hand out to Weyland and they shake. "Tony was a good friend, something your people could never understand. I see you already know my daughter." JR nods his head towards me. My stomach grows sick. I take a deep breath and discreetly take a step away from Weyland. Weyland's head automatically turns, and he stares at me, "I guess I do. She's a lovely young lady. I enjoy her company." JR looks between us questioningly. There is a long moment of awkward silence. "Well, I should be going. I have work to attend to. JR, good to see you again. McKenna, always a pleasure. I hope you take me up on my offer and I'll be seeing you soon." He smiles at me one last time before walking away. I watch him as he leaves. A small smile comes on my face.

I turn to see JR and Max staring at me. My smile disappears immediately.
"Um, what offer?" Max raises an eyebrow and has this devilish smirk on his face.