The Diavoli Forti

Chapter 30: Life goes on

Boxes crowded my room as I packed up my life. I spent most of my life with Leon and Rachel. It was hard to believe I would be leaving. The few weeks following my first counseling session I started back at school and managed to find an apartment. It's only 10 minutes from campus and a perfect price range. I found a little coffee shop right around the corner. I put in my application and was hired as a barista that next week. Mornings are spent at the coffee shop, nights are spent as a bartender at a local bar.

Rachel helps me tape more boxes, "It still doesn't seem real that you're leaving."

"I know. It'll be good for me though. My therapist agreed on the whole building my confidence through independence idea."

She sighs and pushes another box to the side, "I know. I just can't imagine you not being here.. I feel like we just got you back. So counseling is going good? You're going to keep going?"

I give her a reassuring smile, "We'll see." I start to pick up a box and carry it out when I bump into Uncle Leon, "Whoa there, missy. Let me carry that. How many more do we have?"

"These are the last of them."

We load up what was rest of the boxes and drive to the apartment. It was dark outside. We had been working all day. Once arrived we begin unloading the boxes and I could see the realization come over Leon's face. Each time we pass each other going up and down the stairs, I can see the sadness in his face. He forces a smile trying to not let me see. After the last of the boxes was unloaded, I said my goodbyes and gave them a hug.

"Why don't you come over for one last dinner?" Leon pleads.

"Uncle Leon, you know I would love to but I have unpacking and studying to do. I really just want to be alone in my new place. It's not like I'm dead or never coming over." I laugh and pat him on the back. He kisses me on the forehead, "I know I'm not your father but you are my daughter no matter what." I watch them as they drive away smiling at the words Leon said. This man raised me. He was my whole life. Now, it's time to make my own life. I walk back upstairs and plop onto my bed. I glance around at all the boxes I have to unpack. It's so quiet. I could hear the thumping in my own chest.

My phone rings making me jump at the noise and pulling me from my daze. I laugh to myself thinking it's Leon already calling to tell me how much he misses me. My mouth falls open and I quickly fumble with the phone trying to answer. It's a restricted number. It could be JR or Max.

"Hello?" Silence. "Hello? Who is this?" More silence. "JR? Max?"

Dead tone. They hung up? I get up and start to grab my computer and notebook to study. My phone starts to ring on the bed. I rush over to it and hurry to answer it.

"Hello?! Who is this?!"

"Royce.." The voice. I know that voice.

"Tony.. is it really you? How are you calling me? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Royce. It's nothing I can't handle. I managed to find a way to call you so we can talk."

I start to cry tears of joy. Just hearing his voice made my heart melt. I missed him so much. "I can't believe I'm talking to you. I've missed you so much. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with."

Silence on the other end...

"Tony.. is everything okay?"

"Look, Royce.. I heard you're not going to testify. You're crazy if you don't. There's a possibility if they wanted to be assholes, that they could try to pin you for things. You have to do it." I could hear the monotone in his voice. Why does he sound like that?

"You know I can't do that Tony. That's crazy of you to ask. There's nothing anyone can say that will change my mind." I start to get frazzled and stumble over my words. "If we ever want a chance of being together..."

He cuts me off before I can finish, "That's just it Royce! There is no being together and there is no us! This is it for me! Okay? You're stupid if you honestly think that there could ever be an us. I don't love you and I never did! I should've never touched you to begin with. It was all a mistake. You're the reason I'm in here in the first place! This is all your fault! You just had to be in the way that night. I would've never had to meet you or bring you along had you not gotten in the way! You need to move on with your life. Grow up. Testify and get it over with so we can all move on!"

My heart shatters. I can feel it drop. I can feel it break. The tears start pouring out but I don't even make a sound. I can't even muster out a word. I start heaving trying to catch my breath. Why is he saying this? What did I do?

"You... you don't.. mean that. You can't.. mean that." I'm trying to get out the words in between the tears pouring down. "Tony... I love you. Please stop. You're breaking my heart."

I can't stop crying. He doesn't say anything. Just more silence. Finally I hear him take a deep breath on the other end.

"Look, I just wanted this to be the last goodbye. I'm sorry that you misinterpreted things. I hope your life works out the way it was supposed to. Life goes on for us both. It's time to put all of this to an end. Goodbye, McKenna."

"Tony, no!" He hangs up. I scream at the top of my lungs throwing my phone at the wall. I sink to the floor burying my head in my hands. The tears just pour out. My heart ached so bad. Why? What did I do to deserve this? Why did he kiss me? Why did he touch me if he never felt the same? I lay down on the floor and curl into a ball. I think about the night we spent down by the lake. How can he say these things after actions like that? I'm a fool. I was a fool to think he could ever love me. He warned me and I still managed to get my hopes up. I was a fool to think that I could ever show Tony Morati the true meaning of love.

I finally cry myself to sleep on the floor, the first night in my new apartment.