Heal The Wounds | ✔ [REWRITING]

♧14-DILEMMA♧

RUHI

After knowing the entire truth,I was not in any condition to react anything. Everything was so unexpected. I had turned speechless in total shock to react anything.

Becoming a mother was something that made every woman feel the most elated and invincible in her life. There was a pure joy and bliss when a mother saw her child to grow from dependent baby to independent and perfect human being. It was something which included with responsibility, commitment, patience, sacrifices which every woman was heartily ready to do for her own child. It radiated another meaning of happiness. The news of being a mother was the most rewarding feeling in the world. This time was a life-alternating experience pampered with a different co-existing period of unfathomable love ,pride ,excitement and unexplainable emotions.

(An: Being honest, I have taken little help from Google to write this feeling properly as I was not being able to write the feelings and neither I know about this feeling too much.😣)

However in my case, totally opposite thing was going on instead of how I should have felt. I was absolutely clueless about how I should feel. On that night, everything was consensual yet everything seemed so wrong from every aspect. We both did not want it yet it happened and now we were going through this consequence.

I was disappointed, shocked and angry. I loved him but he did not love me till now. I was not sure about how to feel. We had crossed the boundary and we both had equall contributions in this result. However, I never expected this from him that he would hide such a big thing from me.

It was absolutely wrong of him to hide the truth. As much as I loved him, I could not forgive him for the thing he had done. How could he do this? A huge thing had taken place in my life when I was barely conscious enough to even figure out what was going on in my life.

He should have never hidden such a big thing from me. I could feel rage filling me. At the same time, I was regretting for my actions. How could I have been so irresponsible and careless on that day? I literally gave up on my self respect on that day and done things which were absolutely worse.

How could I have been so stupid not to realize the intentions of that man? How could I let myself give in to my desires? I had consumed drug and made such a huge mistake and my life for which I could never forgive myself. My own behavior had no excuse to prove myself right.This was absolutely wrong.

My trance was broken by the sniffling sounds as I turned to face Krrish who had red eyes and he was crying. I couldn't hide my shock when I saw him crying like that.

"Ruhi, I am the culprit. I don't deserve to be here with all of you. I have taken advantage of your drgged situation. When I should have been responsible and mature, I have broken the boundary and let things happen between us knowing in what situation you were in. I am such a bad person." He stated while shrugging off his shoulder. I wanted to comfort him for saying such things because I had equal fault in making things difficult for us. He should not blame himself. But he had hidden such a big news which was terrible.