Rheostat

17.Blueberries

E V E L I N E

Eveline knew she was selfish.

Everyone would always tell her she had a heart of gold. But they didn't know her heart wasn't made of gold, but it was tainted with the sins her naivety and ignorance had committed.

But even if they didn't, she knew. She knew all the things she was responsible for.

She had let her twin sister burden all the nightmares alone so that her perfect fairytale wouldn't be tainted.

But all things would eventually come to an end no matter how much she tried to protect them. Her fairytale had also come to an end.

She had seen how her brothers bullied little Aylin. But she had never once spoken up for her. Afraid, they would shun her too, just like they did to Aylin. So, she watched as her twin suffered alone.

Even as a child, she knew what they were doing to Aylin wasn't right. She wanted to protest but never dared to.

At first, she was annoyed at her twin who would copy her every step. Aylin would dress how she dressed, eat what she liked, talked like she did. But slowly she understood. All she wanted was to be loved just like they love her.

She had seen the jealousy in Aylin's eyes. She was jealous of her. But why? Aylin had everything she desired.

Aylin was brave. She stood up for the people she loved. Something she desperately wanted to do but never could.

She had once asked Diego why he hated Aylin so much. She would never forget the furious expression that crossed his face as he answered, "She killed Mom. She deserves all the hate in the world."

It wasn't his response that terrified her. Rather it was the words he had silently added after that, "I wish I could kill her one day."

She had noticed the killing intent glinting in his matte orbs that day. And no matter how much she tried, she would never be able to see her big brother in the same light again.

Her father would also say Aylin had killed Mom. But Stephen and Ezra would always say otherwise. She didn't know who to believe. But as she grew up, she knew whose words to believe.

And so did Diego.

But regret always came late. Aylin had already gone out of their reach.

Eveline watched the same brother who had once prayed he could kill her now breaking down over the same her.

Her brother stopped smiling. He had become only a shell of his previous self.

Soon after, Diego joined the army. The number of times she had seen her big brother in the last seven years could be counted on one hand.

Noah was drowning in a sea of guilt of his own. Eveline knew her favourite brother was blaming himself for Aylin's departure. But he was wrong. If anyone were to be blamed, it was solely Eveline's fault.

If she would have opted to stand up for her or speak the truth even once, her sister would still be with her. They were stuck in the same web of lies they had meticulously built.

But what was the point in crying over spilt milk?

She would often find Noah, sitting alone in the early mornings as he seemed to be lost in thoughts.

She would silently sit beside him, accompanying him in his grief.

He would ask her the same question almost every morning, "Do you think she's alright?"

And every time Eveline would give him the same answer, "She is fine."

And they both knew she was lying. But none of them said it out loud. For if they truly accepted it they wouldn't be able to handle the grief.