Rheostat

2.The Last Goodbye

E V E L I N E

There was something peaceful about night.

Peace in the silence it brought and the darkness that accompanied it.

They told me she was at peace, too.

But how was I supposed to believe them?

I couldn't.

I could no longer blind myself with lies. I had already spent my whole life doing that.

And I had seen where that leads to.

Closing my eyes, I quietly chanted the lullaby Kai used to sing to her.

It didn't help calm my erratic heartbeat or stop the tears from streaming down.

I had hoped it would.

I had hoped it would remind me that there was indeed once a time when she was happy.

When she would smile and the corners of her eyes would get crinkled in serenity.

When her pain wasn't so unbearable, when she still trusted me enough to seek my help.

But instead, it reminded of what could have been.

If I had been brave enough to not hide behind the walls just so I would hear her laughing.

If I had been brave enough to defend her, to protect her against all odds even if it meant I would lose the favor of my dearest brothers.

Because that's how it should have been.

They say having a twin is lucky. It's God's way of assuring you are never alone.

And, lucky I was.

I got down from my bed, the silence that would usually give me peace made me feel trapped tonight.

It was suffocating to be trapped in your thoughts.

But somehow it made me feel a little more closer to her.

Was that how it was for her? To be trapped in her own mind, not getting a moments rest.

Was it this hard or was it much worse?

I found myself in front of Aylin's room, my hand hovering over the doorknob, contemplating on whether or not I should go inside.

Somehow, it felt like a forbidden sanctuary, a place that only belonged to her where I had no right to intrude without permission.

But my need for answers overrided it and I pushed the door open.

I turned the lights on, my eyes instantly shut close from the sudden assault of brightness.

"The fuck?"

For a moment my heart stopped. A part of me clung to the ridiculous idea that it was Aylin who had spoken the words of protest.

I shouldn't have been disappointed when my eyes fell on Noah's half awake form in the bed instead of Aylin.

But my heart still tore apart when I wasn't met with hazel eyes identical to mine staring back at me.

"Turn the lights off, Eve." Noah grumbled, "Some of us are trying to sleep here."

I felt a little guilty for interrupting his sleep.

Noah hadn't slept properly in the past two days. Instead he had used that time to turn the house into a source of venting his anger.

Every hour, there would be the sound of glass breaking as Noah vented his frustration.