Rheostat

Extra 1: Superhero

                          E Z R A

I hadn't realized how self centered I was until today.

Until now.

My little sister, the one I was supposed to protect was knocking on my door, crying for me to open it.

But I didn't.

Because I was a coward.

Who only thought about himself.

I didn't want to see her tear stained face as she begged me to help her.

"I know you are in there," Aylin whimpered. She stopped knocking on the door once she realized I wasn't going to open it.

I was glad she did. I don't know how much longer I would have been able to ignore her cries.

Despite what everyone thought, I cared.

I cared about them more than I would like to accept. And it scared me.

Because caring would only bring pain.

Everyone leaves.

Like Mom left.

Like Aylin was leaving.

"Dad will send me away tomorrow." Her soft voice came from the other side. Her back pressed against the door as she slid down the floor, "Is it my fault, Ezra?"

It's not.

I followed her actions and leaned against the door.

"Why doesn't anyone love me?"

I do. I love you.

But I didn't voice out my thoughts. Because there was nothing I could do to validate my claims.

"I don't want to go." She started crying again, "Help me, please."

But I don't know how to, Lili. How was I going to make her understand that?

I don't even know how to help myself.

"You are a superhero. You must have a way." She echoed the lies my naive self had uttered years ago. "I know you can save me."

But now I regretted lying to her. It was only a moment's greed that had led me to lie. I had wanted to hold her admiration for a little longer.

Even though I never deserved it.

I stayed silent, still continuing the pretense that I wasn't in my room intentionally ignoring her.

Minutes passed but she showed no signs of moving from outside my room.

I don't know for how long we sat like that in silence. But every second was painful enough to feel like an eternity

Maybe she had fallen asleep while waiting for me to open the door.

Maybe I should open the door.

Maybe all she needed was someone to talk to. Someone who would assure her that it would be alright.

If lies would make her feel better, then maybe that's what I should tell.

"No, don't touch me!" I heard her aggrieved scream. I instantly opened the door, afraid on what caused the sudden shift in her mood.

It was Dad.

He had picked Aylin's sleeping form from the floor, supposedly to place her in a more comfortable surface to sleep.