Rheostat

3. Salvation

"A villain is just a victim whose story hasn't been told."

A L E J A N D R O

Growing up, love was a foreign concept to me.

My parents didn't love each other. Rather they loved the same thing. Fame and power.

It shouldn't have mattered. But it did, because somehow, me and Alex were the ones suffering because of their ambitions.

Because they needed us to be the perfect children, imposing their expectations on us, strangling our dreams on the way.

And when they realized, their son was a prodigy, their obsession over me became worse, making sure I didn't take one step out of the line. The line determining their social standing.

"There's something I want to talk about." I voiced out, not looking up from my plate. I didn't need to look up to know their reactions anyway.

From the way the rustling of papers and clinking of the cutleries stopped, I knew I had their attention.

"Go ahead." Dad urged, glancing at his watch, silently warning me not to take too much of his precious time.

"I want to see a doctor." I started slowly. "A psychiatrist, to be more precise."

"We are not doing this again." Mom sighed, exhausted. "Not now of all times."

"But-"

"Stop." Dad interrupted. "We know what's best for you. And it's certainly not going to see a shrink."

"But at least hear me out." I quickly said, afraid he would interrupt again.

"What is it that you want, Alejandro?" Mom shouted, angry at my continuos insistence. "Do you want everyone to call you a retard?"

'So noisy.' I shut my eyes tightly, trying to filter out the unwelcomed voice in my head.

"Do you want them to laugh at us?" Mom continued to shout.

'Shut her up.' the voice insisted. I could no longer tell apart Mom's shrill screams from it.

"Do you want our reputation to be dragged across the mud?"

'shut her up!'

Digging my nails into my palm, I tried to filter out all the noises, my head hurting.

'Make her shut up!'

And just like that, I lost it.

"Shut up!" I screamed, throwing the knife in my hand at Mom's direction.

The blade barely missed her, slightly grazing her cheek before slamming against the wall behind her.

And for a moment after that, I truly felt happy. Happy for the silence my actions bought, the peace that came with it.

It was momentary though. For the next moment I realized the gravity of my actions.

'You need to work on your aim, Alejandro.'

"I- I feel like I'm turning into a monster." I didn't wait to hear what they had to say and instead ran to my room, clasping my ears to stop the foreign voices.

'We almost had that old hag.'

'Better luck next time.'

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

But no matter how much I screamed or pleaded they wouldn't go away.

After a minute or two, I felt small hands trying to move my hands.