ROOMMATE, streamers

valkyrae | twelve

requested! 

   *IMAGINE BEING LOVED, being so loved that she holds you close to their chest in the morning, eyes gazing at you with so much warmth and adoration. she threads her fingers with yours, brushing a kiss to your knuckles, before pressing your joined hands to their chest and shutting their eyes in bliss once more.

   being so loved that rachell smiles at you so brightly, that the sun and moon would envy the light that emits from it. a look so smitten and intrigued with you only, before not being able to hold back a small chuckle of happiness.

   being so loved that everything you hate about yourself just became another thing she loves about you. all the little scars and marks, every curve, every big and small facial feature, you used to hate as a child. she'd love them for that is what makes you, you.

   being so loved that she sees you everywhere, similar things a child did, a small beautiful flower on the sidewalk, that they think you'd find endearing or maybe just a familiar tune.

   being so loved that she wouldn't turn away from you and stay by your side. loyal and trusting in each other, simple acts of service, out of attentiveness and affection.*

   but all of that breaks because of just a couple of words.

   and then you start, that is the most daunting step. pushing a blade into that first squishy blob of flesh because the first cut is what sets the tone. it determents every single move from that point on. so you have to be careful, you have to be sure or you're in trouble.

   breaking the news to rae about the call you got from new york to move there and take over your family's company was like surgery. it felt like a brain surgery where if you cut the wrong vessel you'll make the person on the table a turnip for the rest of their life.

   "rachell?" next to the gentle knocks rang the brunette's name, light and soft like if you talked any louder you would hurt every single organism and life form in this room.

    how do you access it when it's so hidden, and once you access that area with the perfect tools, perfect approach... how do you keep it from screwing it up?

   "in here." tonight was the night you would fly to new york and your taxi would be here at any minute but you couldn't go without saying one last goodbye before the long months will start off you not spending every minute of your day with your girlfriend.

   "i was wondering if you wanted to come to the airport with me. just a couple of more minutes we can spend together in person." you suggested. you knew she had to rest because she would be streaming twelve hours soon but you could care less about it.

   but all of that breaks because of the wrong cut.

   "I'm so excited for you and the new things you'll do in new york, but I am horrified and sorrowful that you are leaving me- leaving us behind!" she stood from her chair, slamming her phone on her desk. the impact being so sudden and unexpected you step back.

   "you are leaving for who knows how long and the thieves' adviser said it might just be the best if we broke up and I can't make that decision... I can't." she knew how excited you were for this opportunity but everything was unknown around it. 

   "well lucky for you, I can make that decision for the both of us." you turned around, without another word as you become deaf to all the way she tried to make you turn back and don't do this to her but you realized it-

    she felt trapped, stuck in this position.

   so you give her what she wanted, you made it easier for her- for the both of you.

notes
*...* paragraph credits to yanwang--dijun
on tumblr

this was a two-part request so the second part coming soon!

comments are appreciated, hope you liked it! :)