SLIPPING (B.E.)

{one}

nerves made my stomach churn. i was being very fidgety, but could you blame me? i was about to do the interview that could change my entire life!

i swallowed, peeping past the curtain. i'd waited until i was at the end of the line; it was bad enough that everyone working at the studio would hear what i was about to say. of course, they already knew what felt like almost everything about me, considering what i'd already sent through email.

the last person was almost done. i took in a deep, shaky breath.

my best friend, ginger, was waiting next to me, and offered me a crooked smile of encouragement. she was the only person that already knew pretty much everything i would say in the interview, we'd known each other since we were in diapers.

i bit on my lip hard. the last person was leaving, and any second now...

"gwen gray?"

i counted down from five, eyes shut tightly, then let loose the breath i was holding and stepped out, making my way to the chair and sitting down.

the man interviewing me seemed nice and smiley, but i still felt uncomfortable, playing nervously with my hands.

"alright, gwen. we're gonna ask you questions, and we want you to give us as big answers as you can so we can properly classify you and find you the right mate! sound good?" i think he could sense my anxiety, the way he spoke made me think he was trying to make me feel more comfortable.

i nodded.

he smiled. "great! and three, two, one... we're rolling!"

and then the questions started.

"first off, what's your name?"

easy enough. "gwen victoria gray,"

"sexuality?"

"homosexual,"

"what are some traits you would like in your soulmate?"

bit tougher. "um, someone who can make me laugh easily, i like jokes and riddles and stuff. someone who loves cuddling cuz i'm needy. and, um, someone who's not opposed to change, sorry, that's all i can think of," i looked down at my lap.

he smiled wider. "what are you passionate about?"

mostly easy, now that i'd looked up what that meant. "i really love wolves, and i've wanted to become a wildlife observer for a while now, and i like drawing too, and writing. i like writing about personal experiences and turning it into a story for others. oh! and um- i like making music. mostly just playing bass, though,"

"those are some great answers, gwen! now, tell me, what classification do you think you would most likely get, and what do you want?"

i swallowed. this might be the hardest one to say. 

"i- um, i don't really know what i want, but i know for sure i'm not a top," i chuckled lightly, lifting my hand to the back of my neck underneath my dyed-red hair.

"but, um, i think- i think i would get little," i almost whispered the last part. and now, i was about to share my deepest secret with someone i hardly know.

he didn't seemed surprised or anything though, i guess it's easier when it's someone you don't know. "and why's that?"

"i- uh, i age regress, so, um, it's a sort of, uh, coping mechanism for some trauma i've had in the past, um- so basically, i-like, well, become a younger version of myself sometimes, usually when i'm under stress or something- and, uh, yeah," i trailed off at the end, fiddling with my fingers.

"and sometimes, just when i'm alone, i like to cuddle with my stuffie i've had for a long time and my blankie and watch disney movies. especially during storms, i don't like storms," i shuddered.

i paused and took in a deep breath. the man peered closely at me, a curious expression on his face.

"well, gwen, i think you may be right. but remember that being little is nothing to be ashamed of,"

"alright, last question: what takes up most of your time right now?"

i thought for a moment. "umm, maybe drawing? or, actually, probably scootering.  or maybe crafts. i have a bunch of horse figurines and i like to make stuff for them," i blushed slightly, realizing i was probably oversharing. "and i hang out with my friends a lot, i get lonely if i don't see them often, i don't really like being with my family," again, oversharing. but the man just gave me a look full of sympathy. "oh! i really, really love baking. especially cookies, my brother got me a cookie cookbook for my birthday and it has so many good recipes,"  blushing harder, i dropped my hands to my lap and gripped the fabric of my pants.

"excellent answers, gwen gray." he gave the camera man a thumbs up, then continued.

"we should have your classification sorted out in a few days and, hopefully, your soulmate. there is a bit more we'd like you to do on our website, we'll email you the link. and now, you're free to go! have a wonderful evening!"

i smiled awkwardly as i exited, exhaling heavily once i'd left the building behind. the enormity of what i'd just said suddenly seemed to weigh down on me, causing my anxiety to spring to life.

what if my parents see that?

what if i get a bad soulmate? what if they're judgemental? what if they don't want to deal with me when i'm regressed?

what if i can't see my friends anymore? what if my parents don't accept me as a little and i get thrown out with no where to go to?

i swallowed, forcing myself to try to relax as i walked home. tears threatened to slip over my eyes, but i managed to hold them at bay.

you're gonna be fine,

you'll get an amazing soulmate.

your parents won't care about your age regression.

your soulmate will live close by and you'll get to see your friends often.

i smiled a bit, finally calming down just in time. i opened the door to my house, saying a quick hello to my brother before i headed down to my room.

the floor was covered with tiny plastic horses and other animals. i tiptoed around them and went to my computer, opening my email and heading to the link i was sent.

this was interesting to write.

no hate pls :D i'm kinda sensitive abt this story...

1069 words