SLIPPING (B.E.)

{sixteen}

heyyyyy! i'm glad you're here <3

"here, try this on," billie handed me a knee-length black dress(please excuse my lack of description, i dont wear dresses LOL). i had recently dyed my hair black with pink highlights, so for an event like this, it was pretty much the only colour i could wear besides pink, which no thank you.

i took it from her gingerly and went into the change room, feeling self-conscious as i slipped it on. i felt like my stomach stuck out too much, and my arms were too skinny that it looked weird.

"baby, are you almost doneeeeee?" i jumped as billie called to me, she must have put her mouth right against the opening of the door.

"um, i dunno..." i trailed off, picking at the dress and trying to make it look better.

"come on pretty girl; you look good in anything; dont be scared," billie cooed.

i bit down hard on my tongue to distract me as i unlocked the door and stepped out. billie smiled hugely when she saw me.

after instructing me to spin and giving me a hug when she saw how nervous i was, she told me;

"i think you look great in it, but if you want to find something else, we can," she murmured into my shoulder.

i just shrugged. billie chuckled. "alright, well, how about we buy it and if we find something better, we come back and return it, okay?"

i nodded into her neck, and she laughed lightly again before sliding away so i could change back into my hoodie.

***

i sat down on the toilet seat, as per billies request. her team was coming to do her makeup in half-an-hour, but she had said she wanted to do mine herself, or something. i didn't care why, i didn't want some random strangers fussing over my face. they would probably put too much on and then i would wreck it, anyway.

i had absolutely no clue what billie was doing, but it felt nice when she held my chin. i had a hard time staying still, though, when put mascara on my eyelashes.

"hmmm," billie hummed, putting the mascara away and eyeing me thoughtfully. "can i give you some eyeliner?"

i glared at her, already having had enough of sticks with strange, eye-hurting products on them. she chuckled. "alright, awesome."

i gasped, shaking my head vigorously. "no,no,no,no," i chanted, hiding my face in my knees.

billie's gentle hands lifted my head again. "careful, my love, or you'll ruin everything i just did,"

i blushed, feeling bad. in this moment, though, billie had retrieved her eyeliner pen and was instructing me to stay still. i grumbled but let her and tried not to flinch.

i tried to focus on anything else but the pen that was way too close to my eyes. she was fast, thank god, and was soon heating up her curling iron.

much as i liked having my hair curly, i hated curling irons. my mom had burned me the last time she'd used one on me, now more than five years ago, and i was scarred. billie was so careful, though, and i was never worried the iron would touch my skin. i glanced up at her occasionally, and every time she had this little smile on her lips, and she would wink at me if we made eye-contact.

"there! all done!" billie set the hairspray down and kissed my forehead. just then, a knock came on the hotel door, and she rushed to answer it.

i followed a little behind her and watched from the doorway of the spacious bathroom. she was greeting and letting in her makeup team, plus a couple security guards that would escort us to the award show.

i shrank away when i recognized the man who had interviewed me, and hid behind billie when she swept past me into the bathroom again.

catching sight of me hovering, she hugged me carefully so she wouldn't ruin my makeup, then directed me to the bed.

"here, baby, you can watch tv or something while you wait. just be mindful of your face and hair, okay? i should be done in less than an hour," she assured me, patting my thigh.

i looked at her worriedly as she made to leave, and she paused.

"hey, you're gonna be alright," she took my chin in her hands and made me look up at her, mistaking my stress for anxiety about the show. "you'll just stay by my side, okay? it'll be okay," she quickly kissed my forehead again, then went back to the bathroom where her makeup team was waiting, leaving me with both security guards in the bedroom.

i tried to look anywhere but at them. i grabbed my phone and opened wordscapes to try and distract myself.

i looked out the window at the balcony. i wished i could go out there and get away from them, but it was too windy and rainy to be in a dress outside. plus i would probably wreck my hair. i sighed and glanced nervously at the guards waiting by the door, accidentally making eye-contact.

all he did was give me a curt nod, but i squeaked and rushed to the bathroom, hugging billie around the neck and ignoring the annoyed exclamations from her team.

"whoa! what's wrong, baby?" she pulled me onto her lap, but i kept my eyes cast down, my cheeks burning with embarrassment as i realized i had completely overreacted.

when i didn't respond, billie frowns but lets it go, leaning her head back so her team can continue their work despite me being in the way. much as i didn't want to face the guards again, i felt awkward here and tried to leave, but billie just gripped tighter around my waist, her thumbs caressing me reassuringly.

ten minutes later, they finished with her makeup and moved onto her hair, so she was able to sit up again. she smiled at me and scrunched her nose when i looked away.

when billie patted my hip so i would get up after they finished, it hit me that once billie had her dress on we would be leaving.

to this massive event, full of huge names and interviewers and-

"gwen," billie called softly. her dress was on already, i hadn't even noticed her putting it on. she place her hand gently on my cheek, and i realized my eyes were wet.

i blinked the tears away so that i wouldn't ruin my face. billie stroked my cheek slowly, her eyes so gentle and soft i just wanted to bury my face into her neck and have her carry me there.

but i couldn't, so i made myself keep eye-contact.

"you're gonna be alright," billie soothed. "you're gonna be fine; i promise,"

i nodded and grabbed her hand that was on my cheek. billie squeezed my hand, then spoke the the security guards. i got my shoes on quickly, and then we left the building.

we grabbed umbrellas from a bin by the hotel exit, and ran through the rain into the waiting black ford expedition. billie laughed the whole way, and her happiness was so infectious that i did, too.

billie pulled me onto her lap for the short drive there, ignoring the looks her security gave her, and buckled the seatbelt in over me. the driver couldn't see us because of a screen they had put up, which is probably why she was able to get away with it. that and because she was billie eilish.

i took a deep breath to try and steady my nerves as we pulled up, which did absolutely nothing. but billie looked deep into my eyes, her expression so reassuring, that i felt safe and followed behind her out of the vehicle.

***

i've noticed i'm always most inspired to write right after i post a part because i love all the comments... also this book was so overdue so hopefully this makes up for it.

anywhos feel free to comment ideas (for any of my books) it is very much appreciated.