SLIPPING (B.E.)

{twelve}

i blinked my eyes open, squinting to try and clear the blurriness. with a groan, i rolled onto my back and sighed, shutting my eyes again.

i hadn't slept great, and though the clock by my bed read 10:06 am i just wanted to go back to sleep, but i knew actually doing that was a different story.

with another sigh, i sat up and rubbed my eyes to try and clear them. I glanced up at the crib bars, feeling more exhausted when i realized i would have to call billie for help.

"billie?" i mumbled, unable to get any volume at first. clearing my throat, i tried again. "billie?"

there was no response. i waited a couple minutes, then tried again, wondering if she was in the bathroom or something. still, i heard nothing. no footsteps or anything.

confused, i got onto my knees and slipped my hand through the rails, feeling around for the latch. billie couldn't get mad at me, i had called her, after all.

but i couldn't find it, and after a few minutes of hopeless searching, i gave up.

i guess i just have to jump over...

in my frustration, i failed to pay attention to where i was landing, and ended up falling onto the carpet, my nose bashing uncomfortably against the floor.

i turned my head to the side and lay there, mind blank. i didn't have the energy to get up again.

i didn't lay there for long, though, because as my mind drifted i realized what billie would see if she walked in right now.

so, with a heavy yawn, i rose to my feet, rubbing my eyes as i blindly stumbled to the door and opened it, jarring to a halt as i ran into something solid.

i looked up in confusion, blushing as i met billie's equally surprised expression.

"um... sorry," i mumbled, glancing down at my feet.

"hm? what are you apolgizing for?" she put her hand under my chin and lifted my face up to hers. she didn't seem angry.

"for jumping out again. i tried to call you but i didn't think you'd heard me," i explained fixing my eyes on the wall behind her shoulder.

"oh, i'm sorry, lovey. i was in the garage, you didn't hurt yourself, did you?" she asked concern lighting her blue eyes.

i shook my head, deciding not to mention that my nose was still throbbing.

she smiled, then sighed. "okay, well, i've got to run out for a few things... you'll have to stay here by yourself though, is that okay?"

i nodded, hiding the wave of loneliness that washed over me. i'd been hoping maybe i could sneak under billies' arm while she had her morning coffee, but i guess i'd be by myself.

"okay. you can find yourself breakfast, i have to go now or i'll be late,"

i followed her as she scrambled to get her bag and coat. before she walked out the door, she hugged me and planted a firm kiss on my forehead. i wondered if she'd seen through me. either way, i felt a bit better.

i made myself a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast. i spent at least twenty minutes scouring the pantry for regular milk, or even coconut milk, but to no avail. once again i was forced to use oat milk.

after i'd finished my breakfast and cleaned up, i stared blankly out the window. i didn't feel much like doing anything active, and i wasn't sure if i was allowed to watch tv or play a game on my phone. i guess i could have texted billie, but i didn't want to interrupt her if she was in the middle of something important.