SLIPPING (B.E.)

{seventeen}

hiii!!!

don't skip that go say hi to me!

good, now enjoy!

almost immediately we were swamped. people and cameras and microphones in our faces. billie smiled at all the paparazzi and interviewers (which they did not deserve), but otherwise ignored them while she helped me out of the car.

halfway out, i stopped, paralyzed by anxiety at the amount of people calling billies' and my name, how do they even know about me?  the snake that was constantly coiled around my chest tightened, making my breath come fast and shallow.

"gwen, gwenny, baby, it's alright. i'm right here. shhh," billie pulled me out of the car and into her arms. i hadn't noticed a tear had slipped out of my eye until she quickly wiped it away.  i wanted to bury my head into her chest and hide, but i was still hyper-aware of all the people surrounding us. billie seemed immune to it all, which made me feel as if i was overreacting.

self-conscious, i pulled away from her and stood awkwardly to the side, trying to get the snake to loosen by taking deep breaths.

"i'm okay. where do we go now?" i half-lied, looking up at her. billie still seemed concerned, but she took my hand and led me down the carpet that was laid out, which led to a line up behind some cameras set up in front of a background with the award shows' name printed all over it.

one of the people manning the cameras directed us forward once it was our turn. billie made me stand in front of her and put her arms around my shoulders.

"smile," she breathed into my ear. i complied at once, not wanting to look grumpy or stressed in any of the pictures that would doubtless be all over the internet in a matter of hours.

they had us do a couple more poses, then we walked off to make room for the other artists coming in. billie still had her arm around me from the last picture they had taken as she led me deeper inside the building.

soon we came into this huge room with a stage and chairs set up everywhere. some guy was on the stage already, announcing some of the smaller awards. a friendly usher directed us to our seats, where finneas and claudia were already seated.

i hugged both of them bashfully, then sat in my seat next to billie's while she spent a couple minutes speaking with her brother.

it wasn't super busy in here yet, it was maybe half full, but the noise was still loud. i could feel my anxiety rising as more and more people entered and it became louder and rowdier. i thought about leaving and going to the bathroom to hide but i didn't want to draw attention to myself, so i stayed put.

they all finally sat down after an artist's performance was announced and the lights went out. i wasn't paying attention to who it was, i was focusing on controlling my breathing.