Shielding You From Sorrow♡

Epilogue

After my painful journey

Lili's POV

Love is really unpredictable. We can't predict what will happen to us while looking forward to that powerful journey of our life.

Love is a feeling that can make you feel that you already have all the precious thing on Earth when the person you love loves you back. But what if the feeling that can make you feel have the all can also make you feel lost.

What if the person who you thought can make you happy is also the person who'll make you sorrowful at the end.

I thought she loves me back. Cause I kept holding onto something. I kept holding that she loves me back cause of her actions.

She cared for me.

She sheltered me when I felt like I am homeless.

She cooked food for me when I am hungry.

She warm my heart and soul when everything went cold.

She makes me feel worth it when I felt like I am worthless.

She believes in me when I started to doubt myself.

What did she do is meaningful to me. If she didn't do those then I shouldn't have fall for her deeper and deeper.

But I can't blame her for doing those. I knew her for having that kind of personality. I was just the one who's very delusional who's giving everything a meaning.

Trust L and never doubt J. That's what you told me. And I kept holding onto that. You're the one who say it and I will keep that in my heart.

What she had felt for me before isn't love. It's just an infatuation. She was just infatuated.

I understand everything. Everything is clear to me. I don't have hard feelings for her. What's more important for me now is that we're both okay.

We forgive each other.

Forgive and forget for us to keep moving forward.

We may forgive but we'll never forget. We may, but it will take time. We forgive but we can't forget that easily.

Those painful journey I have experienced will remain a lesson for me.

My daddy is right.

People in our lives is like a grain of sands held in your hand. Held loosely with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled.

The people in our lives is just like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain. But hold too tight, too possessively and the person slips away and is lost.

Maybe I held her too tight, that's why I lost her.

Everything is useless if I can't have her. But I'll try to make everything useful even if I can't have her.

The day where I decided to confess to her is also the day I lost her. That day I lost my best friend. I lost my companion. I lost the love of my life.

That day I lost Jennie Kim. The brightest star who follows me no matter how far. But that day, she chooses to follow someone else.

That's what life is. We are not destined to be with the person we wanted to be with.

Someday, I hope to gain my strength and be able to say to myself "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes on my way".