away; b.e.[rewritting]

Chapter 102

april

what band do you want to get back together?

"So I don't know if y'all saw, but, Big Time Rush is on netflix and honestly, I kind of want a BTR reunion. And if they let me, I want to be the producer on a remastered version of a few songs," I say.

I answer a few more questions before getting off live and getting a call from Olivia (rodrigo).

"Hey Liv," I say.

"Hey Emilie, is it alright if I come over and we can work on some songs for the album? I just wrote a song," she says.

"Yeah come over," I say.

I hang up and start going through my files. I start putting songs into files to keep everything organized. All completed songs in their own folder, producing songs in their own folder, and all the unreleased songs also in their own folder.

I start going through all my unreleased songs and one catches my eye.

that way.

I remember writing this song after the football game. The one in november during senior year, when I was dating Lilly and Billie brought Drew to the game.

I press play. (changing the lyrics a bit)

Run me in circles
Like you always do
Mess with me on purpose
So I'll hang onto you
I know what you mean when you act like that
You don't know it's breaking my heart
Said that it was just never gonna happen
Then almost kissed her in the dark
Every time we talk, it just hurts so bad
'Cause I don't even know what we are
I don't even know where to start
But I can play the part
You say you're friends, but I'm catching you across the room
It makes no sense, 'cause we're fighting over what we do
And there's no way that I'll end up being with you
But friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way
Can't even tell if
I love or hate you more
You've got me addicted
And I can't tell who's keeping score
I know what you mean when you act like that
You don't know it's breaking my heart
Said that it was just never gonna happen
Then almost kissed me in the dark
Every time we talk, it just hurts so bad
'Cause I don't even know what we are
I don't even know where to start
But I can play the part
We say we're friends, but I'm catching you across the room
It makes no sense, 'cause we're fighting over what we do
And there's no way that I'll end up being with you
But friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way
Mmm, ayy
We say we're friends, but I'm catching you across the room
It makes no sense, 'cause we're fighting over what we do
And there's no way that I'll end up being with you
But friends don't look at friends that way
Friends don't look at friends that way

It was when it felt like Billie was torn between me and Drew so I wrote the song where the first part was about Drew and the second part was about me.