away; b.e.[rewritting]

Chapter 34

September 18

"What about this?" Billie asks. She's trying to find an outfit for the release party tonight. I laying on her bed, with my elbows propping me up.

"It's perfect, just like all other 30 outfits," I say. Billie huffs. "Baby, you're dress sense is amazing. Do you want to see what I'm wearing?"

Billie nods. I open my phone and show her my outfit.

(the clothes, not the girl)

"That help you?" I ask. She nods.

"It's just the party starts at 10 and it's 5 now. Don't you need to get ready? I feel like I'm holding you up," Billie worries. I get up from her bed and go up to her and kiss her.

"You're never the problem, you hear me? Never blame yourself for something that's not in your control. I have all the time in the fucking world for you," I kiss the top of her head.

~

"Billie! Let's go, the limo is here," I hear Finneas yell from downstairs. Lauren is here too with Bryana. We're all here for to support Billie.

Lauren looked amazing and so did Bryana. Finneas is dressed in a suit and Claudia in a dress. Then, there was Billie and I. I wore my outfit and Billie wore one we picked out together.

We all headed into the limo and we drove off.

~

"Holy shit Bil, there are a shit ton of celebrities here," I whisper to her.

"Well no shit, I'm a celebrity," she laughs. We walk into the house and Billie goes off to greet people. Lauren and Bryana went to go get a drink, and Finneas and Claudia went to the back. I was left all alone.

"Excuse me? Do you know where Billie is?" I turn around and see Ariana standing there.

"Oh, uh hi. I actually don't know where she is. Kinda dipped on me when we came in," I say.

"You're Emilie, right?" She asks. I nod.

"You and Billie are so cute together. Please tell me you guys are dating."

I laugh and nod. "Yeah. We had our ups and downs, but we made it," I say. "Hey, I also saw you are a grammy nominee, the same one Billie was nominated for."

"Yeah, and I really hope she wins. She deserves it. And congratulations on your nominations," Ariana said.

"Thanks. Want to go get a drink?" I ask. She nods and we head toward the kitchen.

I grab 2 red solo cups and pour both of us a drink. I hand Ari and cup and take a sip of my drink.

"This is good. What is it?" Ari asks.

"It's tequila with sprite. One of my personal favorites; used to drink it all the time whenever i was at a party," I say taking another sip of my drink.

We continue to talk some more in the kitchen and getting to know each other better.

I look behind Ari's shoulder and I see Billie pinning some random girl's hands above her head.

"Emilie? Em? Whats u-," she turns around and sees what I see.

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna step outside. I'll be by the pool if you need me," I lightly say to Ari. She looks at me worriedly and nods.

I head toward the back and open the sliding door, leading out into the huge backyard. I sit down on a lounger and fiddle with my rings.

She knows. She knows it and promised to stop after the last time. Hell she said that she loved me. It's all a lie. It's all a fucking lie.

I check the time on my watch and see that it's 11:48 PM.

I look toward the pool and see the water being illuminated by the underwater lights. I put my cup down and take off my rings. Then, my shirt and pants. I leave my woxers on and sports bra. I take off my shoes and socks. I take off my watch and hold all my clothes. Finally I take off my boxing chain and put it with my clothes.

I slowly get into the water. Once I've gotten used to the water, I go underwater, with no air.

I don't move.

I open my eyes, and all I see is the water. I sat in the pool floor, 5 feet down, with no oxygen. I want to go up but I can't move. My eyes become heavy and close.

This is it.

Last thing I remember, darkness.