away; b.e.[rewritting]

Chapter 59

The show the school was supposed to have was cancelled. The grammys are next week. Billie, Finneas, Lauren and I have been running around, getting the finishing details on our outfits done.

"Ok so who is coming as your guests to the grammys?" Jessie asks me.

"AG, Anna, Tyson, and Riley," I say.

"They have their outfits all set up?"

I nod and remember she can't see me. "Yeah."

"Ok. Your suit is ready. I'm having it brought to your apartment," Jessie says.

We say our goodbyes and I hang up.

I go into my room where I had the microphone set up with soundproofing installed.

Instagram

emiliestone

30,910,792 likes
12,570,810 comments

emiliestone: new song dropping later today? whaaaa @billieeilish

girlinred: 👀
^finneas: collab?
jackie.kennedy: knowing you i'm not ready for this shit
laurensanderson: grammys are NEXT FUCKING WEEK
laurensanderson: i also wrote a new song that needs production 👀
^emiliestone: bet
chase.hudson: you're a no name

No name? This clown.

"At least I got a title," I mutter to myself.

I start writing and then I start playing the piano, building a beat.

After all that's done, I start recording.

Look, people ask me what the future is
All I know is I'll be doin' this
All I know is things are moving quick
That's convenient for me 'cause that's how I live
Now they see me out here movin' up
You don't like me, that makes two of us
Time change, yeah, I can't adjust
Yo, it's who you are not who you was, oh my
Yeah, just went to Europe, they said the single is working
I think I'm learning, I am way more than people might think when they look on the surface
What is my purpose? Yeah
That is a question that I have been asking myself and it hurts
'Cause it's prolly something I should already know but I don't know it yet
I'm tryna grow as a person, woo!
I'm sick of people tellin' people I'm here 'cause of marketing dollars, oh
You think that everything is gonna blow just 'cause you market it harder? No
I got my hands in everything, now they out here tryna get to me
Stop tryna lecture me
You don't compare to my level of thinking, so why do you think you compare to my energy, huh?
Small circle, but the number's growin'
Fame called me, I'm like, "How you doin'?"
Hung up on him, I ain't ready for it
I'll get back to that when I make album four
Less talking, I've been workin' more
Better me is what I'm workin' towards
Y'all judgin', but we not in court, no, we not in court, oh Lord!
Last couple years, let's recap
I make a livin' off of writin' out my regrets
I'm doin' me, I don't care where the scene's at
Try to give me feedback, I don't really need that
I used to walk on stage in a V-neck
I used to wear a lil' tie with a black vest
I came a long way, why you lookin' upset?
I'm tryna paint a picture, get the vision, you ain't hear it yet, woo!
Look, hold up, hold up, wait a minute, please
Flow's switchin', I got ADD
Brain scatters when you play the beat
It don't matter what you say to me
I'll be doin' this at 83
I've been doin' this since ABC's
In the major leagues doin' major things, don't play with me, woo!
I'm livin' life in the fast lane
Wake up every morning thinkin' I'ma have a bad day
Drive my own car, I don't like the valet
Parked, then I go into my mind with an AK
Shoot every thought in my head then it rotates
Losin' it all, but I think that I'm okay
Who is involved? I don't know, but I'm insane
Poof! And I'm gone, wanna call me a no name, what!?
I'm prolly not what you thought
I'm prolly not what you thought
I used to judge everybody that wasn't like me 'til I learned it was wrong
Girl told me I should get it together and get out the dark
I'm tryna give her my heart
That's when I sit in my car, writin' for hours until I can barely talk
I mean, where do I start?
Feels like I'm fallin' apart
Act like my image is hard
I always put up my guard
Even when talkin' to God
Sit in my room and I plot
Everything that I'm not
Comes out in the music I jot
I give it all that I got
I give it all that I got!
I'm tryna think out the box, no!
Yeah, I got people standing outside a bus screaming my name
I don't come out and take pictures, they tell me I changed
I don't smile in VIPs, you get mad like, "You know what I paid?"
Guess I don't know what to say
Guess I don't know what to say
I leave it all on the stage
I leave it all on the stage