Sarah Paulson Character One-shots

You have no love inside - Wilhemina Venable

A/N: I'm not too sure what I think about this one..

Prompt: After a breakup, Wilhemina invites you out for a coffee to try rekindle your relationship

Tw: cigarettes, angst, no happy ending

You don't really understand why you agreed to this in the first place; the redhead invited you out for coffee almost an hour ago and she was late. You bounce your leg nervously as you take another soothing drag of your cigarette. You think back to the time you had met this mysterious woman. So strict with herself and not one for love, but you did eventually break down those walls piece by piece. Until your love just wasn't enough, and the arguing ensued. The constant arguing led you to believe she didn't want you anymore, didn't love you anymore. You had your whole life on pause for her, even moved across the country for her. But she gave little back.

"You started smoking again." the deep voice that you're not even sure you wanted to hear again brought you away from your thoughts. It was more of a statement than a question and you couldn't help but give her a sarcastic chuckle.

"What's it to you?" you couldn't help but snap, before recoiling, regretting speaking to her like this, but then, at the same time, not regretting it at all. You sit there taking in her appearance. You missed her a lot. Her beautiful red hair that called flawlessly down her back passed her shoulders. She had let it grow out. Her grip hard around her cane as she moved swiftly closer towards you to take the seat opposite. "How are you?" you ask after getting no response. She always hated when you were being bratty.

"As you can see, I've done well," she says but her voice isn't as harsh as it would usually be when you would ask her that question, instead she looks down at her lap, fiddling with the hem of her lilac blazer. "I recently broke up with my partner," she confesses and it takes you by surprise that she confessed that in the first place but you shake your head at her. This wasn't surprising to you in the slightest considering.

"You can never be with someone for long," you state, taking another drag of your cigarette and she looks away almost shamefully. She is still so damn beautiful though, almost breathtaking. And even now when she is allowing her insecurities to show through, you even think that maybe you could get back together. But you shouldn't rely on those thoughts for long. She needs to learn from her own mistakes as do you. You can't just run back to her whenever she feels like wanting you again when she's lonely.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she snaps, her eyes looking at you, almost glass-like as if they'd shatter at any moment. You steer your gaze away from her, knowing if you look at her right now you'd just apologize to her, and she doesn't deserve that right now. She needs your honesty.

"You're not capable of love, Wilhemina," you say, looking down, the cigarette in your hand fading away like your soul is right now. She scoffs, making you look at her this time, and she laughs but it's so fake.

"And you know what love is?" she questions, tilting her head in an accusing manner, she fiddles with the cane by her side trying to divert her anger to one spot, so she doesn't lash out at you like she used to. You can see she's trying, however, but trying isn't and wasn't good enough.

"I -" you can't find the words, you don't really know what love is, but you do know if you love someone you wouldn't treat them the way she did with you. You were there for her through the good, the bad, and the ugly, but when things got too bad for her, she pushed you away as if you were nothing.

"So you have nothing to say, hm?"

"Whenever you break up with someone else you always come running back to me, why is that? It happens time and time again and I can't do this anymore." You confess and this time she's the one who can't look at you, "Am I the only one who can put up with your bullshit or what?"

"Yes." she says almost as a whisper, "Not just that -" her eyes look so desperate "You're the only one I truly love."

This time it's you who scoffs, her grip around her cane tightens making her knuckles white. "Love? Do you call that love? No, Mina -" you wince at the use of her nickname before summoning up the courage to carry on, "What I showed you was love. You never gave it to me." your voice cracks a little as you spoke, "I loved you so much and when times got hard, you just threw me away like I was nothing." The silence after was deafening and uncomfortable, neither of you able to look at each other in case the other would break. "Did I imagine that or did it happen?" you ask

"It did." she says, wiping her right eye as a tear quickly fell, "But I want to make it up to you. I want to make this work. I'm willing to put the past behind us and try again. Did I really hurt you that much that you're not even willing on giving me a second chance?"

This time you snapped, almost shouting. "Second chance? I've given you a fourth, hell even a sixth chance Wilhemina, and I still wasn't good enough!"

She purses her lips in rage at you, "I've never seen you like this." she states, "You have never raised your voice at me like this before and I do not-"

"Oh fuck off, I'm not your silly little pet anymore, it's about time I stick up for myself." You say, throwing away the butt of the cigarette that wasted away in your fingertips "If you ask me if we will see each other again, I will say 'No.' There is no coming back from this."

She turns her head "you no longer need me." she comments

"Because you carry no love inside of you, not for me or for anyone and mourning for you makes no sense anymore." You cry, her face still not budging from its state of anger, her walls shooting straight back up even higher than they were before. "To forget you is going to be the hardest thing I do but I won't regret it." You say before collecting your things and leaving.