Sarah Paulson Character One-shots

Who you are - Tammy

A/N: been putting off posting this for far too long as i feel i couldve done better, it's not my best but I hope you like it anyway

Prompt: reader comes out as non-binary to Tammy

TW: nailbiting, misuse of pronouns, binders,

requested by MsLana-Banana

"Why am I doing this to myself? " you mumble to yourself as you take a look at your reflection in the bathroom's mirror. You pick up the hairbrush from the sink and brush your long hair. Is this what you have to do to fit the mold? You sigh as you drop the brush back down again. Looking back at yourself, only it doesn't feel like you. You tie your hair up and leave.

You flop down on the couch beside Tammy and she runs her fingers through your hair gently, calming you as you watch Constance show Rose her newest card trick. Amita, Daphne and Nine ball are watching a movie. Debbie, Lou and Tammy are having a hushed conversation. "What's up with her?" Lou asks Tammy, looking at you and you wince at the use of pronouns, only adding more confusion to her features. "What's wrong, love?" Lou then asks you and you shake your head as you hear the doorbell.

"I'll get it." you almost shout before bolting up off the couch heading towards the door, hoping it's the pizza you had ordered almost thirty minutes ago.

"I think Y/N might be going through something that- I'm not sure if I should say," Tammy says, only looking at you with concern in her features as you come back over with the 9 boxes of pizzas. "Can we talk?" she asks you, nodding her head over to the bathroom for more "privacy"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion but shrug your shoulders, placing down the boxes on your spot before leaving with Tammy. "What's up?" you ask the blonde

"Nothing," she shakes her head before biting her lower lip, "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

You stand in silence for a moment, biting your fingernails before shrugging but Tammy only knows there is in fact something on your mind and there has been for weeks now. "You know you can talk to me," she holds her hand out towards yours to hold on to so you'd stop biting your nails.

"I'm just questioning a lot about myself y'know?" you bite your lip, looking away.

Tammy only nods in understanding and rubs her fingers over yours to silently say "I'm here, take all the time you need," until your eyes lock with hers again, "I've noticed a few things, lately." she starts, "Now you can correct me if I'm wrong, of course." she adds quickly and you watch intently as she speaks, "I've noticed, the other day, when you were changing clothes that you had on multiple sports bras?" your face turns red from embarrassment "Now, I did some research, and I bought you something." she turns, around picking up a small parcel from underneath the laundry basket, clearly had already planned this conversation, "Open it." she encourages

"I," you open the box, your eyes tearing up as you pull out a binder, "Tam -"

"These are a lot more comfortable and safe for your body than wearing tight sports bras." she points out, "It even comes with instructions on how to put it on," you're speechless right now. The fact she had noticed, cares this much to buy you an actual binder, to even do research.

"I don't know what -"

"You don't have to say anything." she smiles, her own eyes tearing up. "I also know that you look uncomfortable whenever someone refers to you as she or her. What pronouns would you prefer?" You just sob. You drop the binder and the box onto the floor, falling into her embrace.

"They and -" you whisper, you feel her holding onto you tighter, "them"

"Thank you for telling me, I'm so proud of you," she whispers before letting go, "I'll turn around, you change into this and we can get back to pizza, okay?" You nod, sniffing and wiping your eyes with your sleeve and quickly change. "Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars." Tammy smiles as she turns back around when you're done

"But sometimes it's hard to follow my heart."

"But tears don't mean your losing, everybody's bruising, There's nothing wrong with who you are,"

As you leave the bathroom all eyes are on the two of you, "You alright?" Nine ball nods towards you seeing your face but you just nod.

"They're having a bit of a confusing time right now and would prefer if you'd stop referring to them as she or her." Tammy answers for you and you sigh relieved that you didn't have to do that and she told them for you.

"Of course," Debbie came over placing a kiss on your forehead before heading inside the bathroom and the others ate their pizza.

"I'm sorry, Y/N for saying -," Lou begins but you cut her off quickly

"Oh, no it's alright, honestly," you say and she nods

"I'm proud of you, kid," she says ruffling your hair and you cuddle up to Tammy as she eats.

"Never be afraid to be yourself around us, we love you for who you are, Y/N"

"Y'know I'm thinking of getting my hair cut," you say randomly, piquing the interest of everyone in the room.

"Oh, no don't do that! Your hair is so long and beautiful!" Daphne protests, "God I wish i had hair like yours."

"I've got some clippers." Lou gives you a playful wink but you sit up with a grin.

"Yes!"

"No! You're not just going to shave it off, at least cut it first," Amita adds, gesturing you to come over so you do and she ties your hair up.

"Oh my god are you really doing this?" Daphne asks, "Her hair is beautiful, why waste it?"

Lou slaps her hands on her knees abruptly and gets up from the couch leaving  into the kitchen before calling you over.

"Lou, no. At least let Debbie do it." Tammy says "You'd slice their ears off"

You can't help but laugh at the group, your family. You sit in the chair as Rose comes over to cut the long bits off with the scissors.

"What are you doing?" Debbie asks as she finally exits the bathroom, her hands on her hip as she tilts her head curiously.

"New haircut." You beam at her and she rolls her eyes.

"Give me the cutters," she holds her hand out bending her fingers in a come here motion.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Nineball jokes with a smirk, her chin leaning on her fingers as she watches intently.

"I had to shave my brother's hair a few times, I've had practice."

Once your hair was cut you felt free, free from the burden and the weight of what you were holding before.

"Anyone else?" Debbie jokes but Constance, who has been quiet the whole time raises her hand shyly. "You?"

"It looks great." she shrugs, making Debbie roll her eyes, "Can I then?" Debbie nods and she exchanges places with you and you walk over to Tammy who wraps her arm around you.

That's your home