the sun taught the moon how to shine for whomever he loved and he started burning for her.
everything (except for the pictures) within this work is in my possession.
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Dear Lover of Mine,
After the spark between us, that could have set the whole world on fire, had turned into ice, I didn't get to hear from you for a long time.
I remember writing you letters and messages, quotes and annotated books, but you never bothered enough to answer them.
Last time we had talked at the time was months ago. It came so unexpectedly, my love. It had broken me and left me go slowly, but surely insane. I had relied on you - I was attached to you with all that I had, and maybe that was your reason to leave me at the time.
Thinking about you made me realize that I am, and always would be the luckiest and most devastated person ever. Lucky, because I had you. Devastated, because you slipped right through my fingers before I could even get a hold of you.
And although you had never been able of upsetting me, I still feel my heart ache to this day, every-when I think of that time in my life.
—————
eight years had passed after. my loneliest years.
It was another cold, lifeless Wednesday evening in December. I was looking for a story in the bookshop when I spotted this magical, tenacious woman with eyes, hot and flaming as fire, and fiercer than the greeks most valorous warrior. I recognized you immediately.
My heart raced, and my legs quaked as if the ground beneath me was being pulled away right from under my feet. It was a feeling I had become familiar with, despite having only felt that way around you once in my life.
I recall having this inner monologue as I was trying to build up the courage to talk to you.
I cleared my throat before approaching you and... there you were, already looking at me.
The most beautiful smile had drawn itself onto your lips, and I knew that, eight years later, I still loved you the same way I had loved you eight years earlier. My love would always remain the same for you, my dear.
We talked, and we laughed, and I invited you to eat with me and you agreed —— and we had both never been happier before.
I miss you. I miss you so much, oh my love, if death approached me, and promised me one last hug of yours in exchange of taking my life, I would say, yes! give her back to me!without thinking twice.
—————
You died on a february night. I had come to despise this month, and a world without you a lot.
At times I would turn the record player on and put our music tape in it. That's when I'd close my eyes and start hearing your soft quiet voice humming to the melody of our favourite songs —— and as soon as i open my eyes to catch a glimpse of you, I would remember that you're not here. And although you're not mine anymore, I would always remain yours. I always have belonged to you.
Other times I find myself calling for you at the breakfast table, expecting you to respond with I'm almost done, like you always used to, just to be shocked anew by your absence every time. That's when I'd be painfully hit by the realization that I had forgotten the harmony in your laughs or the way you would tilt your head, whenever you were confused. I wish I would have told you this before it had gotten too late.
I look for you in every person I come across, just to end up feeling like a sinful traitor, for you are something so golden, so bright, and so unforgettable that no one would ever compare to you.
So I would read your words with an aching heart, and admire our pictures with tears in my eyes, hug your shirts that were slowly losing your scent, and watch our video recordings with an unsatisfied soul,
because all that's left of you is now part of my mind, merging with the forgotten memories that now remained silent in the far distance —— and I can't help, but wonder —— where did all the time go?
In remembrance of all that you and me had, your lover.
