Sing to the Stars

"You Got Me" (Stella/Rachel AU)

I heard this today and I jumped on it immediately
(this might be posted a few days after it came out but as of right now, the song is an hour old)

also I know the story behind the song because I love this musical so much, but I'm changing it a bit- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

     "Hey, Stella." I watched her expression change as she saw me. That small frown became a gentle smile. As much as I loved that smile, I felt worried. "Are you okay?"
     "Oh. Yeah." Stella awkwardly pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Are you...are you sure?"
     "Yeah. What makes you ask like that?" The confused smile she gave me felt fake but I didn't know what I should do about it. "Nothing, I'm just worried. Y'know...about last night." I tried to convince myself that my gut was wrong.
     "Oh, that. I'm better now, don't worry." When she touched my arm, it lingered just a moment longer than it should've, and I wondered if it meant something. And I remembered the way she'd been crying the night before, sobbing into my chest until she fell asleep. No words I could say or no actions I could take could calm her down. "Well...just know I'm always here if you need to talk." She nodded at my words, but no response.

     Stella was about to walk away when I caught her by the shoulder. "What is it?" She was curious. "How's Silk?" The twitch at the corner of her mouth confirmed my guess. But I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. "I hear the way you two are when you're alone. Laughing, music blasting. It's good that you guys are spending time together."
     A small giggle that lit my heart on fire. "And y'know, she lights up like a little firefly whenever she sees you." When I paused, I saw her shift her weight from one foot to the other. "And I saw you kiss two nights ago..."
     Fear ignited in her eyes, "Rachel, I-I can explain!"
     "It's okay."
     "...Is it?" Stella cautiously lowered her voice.
     "Yeah. I'm still here for you, and I'm sure her sisters are fine with it." They kind of already accepted it...
     "O-oh...um...they don't know, do they?"
     "No. I won't tell them if you or Silk don't want me to."
     "Um...about that..." Curiously, I raised an eyebrow, watching the way she bit her lip anxiously, thinking. "What is it?"
     "N-never mind."
     "Are you sure?"
     "Y-yeah..."
     I hugged her, trying to stop my shoulders from shaking just for one moment. I finally talked to her about it, but she seemed...distant. It worried me, but if nothing was wrong there was nothing I could do. She was hiding something from me but I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk it out of her.
     "Don't doubt yourself, Stella. It's perfectly okay to love her, and I'll still be here for you no matter what. I'll defend you and Silk if anything comes up with Hollow, too."
     "Y-yeah...thanks."
     "I've...gotta go now. Naomi needed me for help testing something."
     "That's okay." Stella's smile was real this time, but...tentative. I didn't want to go, but I turned anyway, walking away. I forced myself not to look back as I walked away, holding back my tears until I turned the corner and vaulted over the fence to meet Naomi.
     Heavy sobs shook my shoulders, tears beginning to spill from the corners of my eyes, and my breath hitching in that awful way that meant I could barely stand up straight. Naomi saw this, running over to hold me. "Rachel, what happened?"
     I shook my head, sobbing into her shoulder. "I-I just can't do this..."
     "What can't you do?"
     "A-all of i-it. Stella's in-n love with S-Silk, and the," my words were interrupted by a hiccup, "the w-worry is eating m-me alive."
     "The worry? Oh..." Naomi gently rubbed my back, guiding me down to the ground so we could sit. We always met in this alley after school, and I knew from experience that anyone passing by wouldn't see us. There was a fence between us and the road that I had climbed over to get here.
     "I told you that you worry too much about us." 'Us' referring to my friends.
     "I-I know."
     We fell into relative silence, broken only by my muffled sobs and Naomi gently trying to soothe me.

---

     I felt my heart break at Rachel's words. I felt guilt gnaw at my insides as I heard her sobbing from the other side of the fence. My hands curled into fists, the nails digging into my palm.
     How could I have been so stupid? I should've just told her what was wrong, that the kiss was a mistake, just anything. How did I not notice I was hurting her?

---

     "Rachel...are you sure you're okay now?"
     "Yeah. I mean...I can't just abandon her. If she needs me I'll be there for her, but I...it just hurts."
     "I understand that." I rubbed my eyes, looking at Naomi. "Do you think...do you think I was too naive? O-or that she thought I was too...too worried about her to even be considered?"
     Her face softened. "C'mon, let's get you home."
     "Answer, please."
     "I think she made a mistake." That didn't soothe my worries, but I understood that Naomi didn't have an answer. I silently let her rub the oily contents of a vial onto my cheeks. It was enchanted to hide the effects of crying and such.
     "Let's go home, and then would you like me to call the others?" I nodded dumbly, trying to hold in a second wave of sobs. "Alright." Naomi gave me a hug. "And remember, you don't have to be strong for us just because you're the oldest." The playful wink gave me a small sense of...normalcy. It made me feel just a bit better.
     Leading me home was the person I'd known as long as I could remember. A sister of sorts, though not by blood. The only person who I felt I could break down in front of. The friend of mine who donned masks and personalities like normal people donned clothes, but only showed her true self to those whom she trusted. The friend of mine whose life I'd saved when we were 7.
     When Naomi glanced back at me, she said to me words I would never forget. "You can comfort everyone else when they're hurting, sure, but when you're hurting, you got me Rachel. You've got me."