Over the weekend I spent most of my time with Laura. I was pretty much over all of the drama that had happened previously and I needed some girl time with the only person who never left me hanging. We did all of the things we used to do together when we were kids like ice skating and going parks. It was on Sunday night that we decided to just stay inside and have an old fashioned sleepover. We dressed in animal themed onesies that we bought at the mall the day before and talked until we fell asleep.
"I really don't want to go to school tomorrow." Laura groaned. "Me either. I'm praying that maybe if we pretend it doesn't exist then it will go away." I wished all things were like that. You know, just pretend everything is okay and then suddenly it is. But life isn't a movie. "So," Laura said, reaching for more popcorn, "have you talked to Myles?" I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was still infuriated at the fact that he ditched me during the art presentation and I thankfully hadn't seen him since. I shook my head "no" and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "You need to talk to him Mira."
"No. The only thing I need to do is focus on my boyfriend and school and eat more food. Plus, I don't know what I'd do if I even got close to him. I'd probably explode," I said truthfully. I had a problem with sarcasm and short tempers. But even though I was angry, a part of me wanted to see him. I wanted to vent and then possibly make up. He was a good friend, despite everything that happened. I never admitted that to anyone, of course, until many years later. But I surely did miss him and hate him at the same time.
The next morning the weather seemed to be on our side as the sun shined brightly and warmed everything it touched. It had to be around 70 degrees outside, which is what we had all been waiting for. The weather had thing for being bipolar but I was satisfied with the results. I was grateful to have someone to walk to school and enjoy the beautiful weather with.
When we finally did make it to school, we were in great moods. Something about the weather dragged away all the bad vibes and we had a weird amount of energy considering we went to sleep at 2am. The first person I saw when I walked in was Bri. She spotted me also and began to walk my way. I looked up at Laura and rolled my eyes. I really wasn't in the mood to have my vibe killed.
"Hey Mira." She sneered, looking down on me. "Hi." I was completely unamused and my voice showed it. "I just wanted you to know that me and Myles got back together on Saturday." I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Okay, what do want? A slow hand clap? What does that have to do with me?"
She smiled sarcastically and glared at me. "Just an update." she said before she walked away. I shook off her bad vibes and continued on the journey to find my boyfriend. Laura always hated feeling like a third wheel so she left with some of her other friends. It seemed that I couldn't find him anywhere though. I had looked in all of his regular hangout spots but he was no where. I finally caught up with some of his friends and they said that he was probably just running late. I sighed in disappointment but then continued to my locker to get my books for the day.
I had the tendency to stare at the ground as I walked alone. I still do sometimes, its like I do it subconsciously. The only bad thing about it is that I always end up running into people. That day I ran into the one person I didn't want to see. I bumped into a tall figure and immediately looked up, ready to apologize for not looking where I was going.
When I did look up, to my surprise, I saw Myles staring at me wide eyed. Anger immediately started to boil through my veins and I could feel my face turning red. "You little piece of shit!" I screamed, looking up into his brown eyes. "I was counting on you! You know how scared I get by myself. You worthless little shit! No matter what happened you made a commitment to be there with me and you ditched me! Who does that? I was so embarrassed." my voice cracked as tears began to fill the rim of my eyes, threatening to fall. "You just left me there. How could you do that to me? Huh?" Myles stood there dumbfounded. He didn't say anything which made me even more angry. A small crowd was staring at us but I didn't care at the moment. I was really hurt but I couldn't explain why it mattered so much to me. It just did. "ANSWER ME!" I screamed as I pushed him slightly. "Answer me damnit." I whispered, wiping a tear that escaped.
"What did you expect me to do?" he whispered.
"Excuse me?" He took a step closer and grabbed my shoulders. "What the hell did you expect me to do?" He said louder this time. "Be there maybe!" I said, rolling my eyes. "Be there? You made a choice. You think that was embarrassing? Losing a best friend over you was embarrassing! Having someone you care about say that you aren't shit to them in front of a whole café, that's embarrassing! So what did you expect me to do? Stand up there beside you in front of the class and when I got asked what was my inspiration for the project did you want tell them that you were my inspiration? That I gave up everything over an art project and a girl who's not mine? Is that was you wanted me to do?"
I stood silently. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that he was my inspiration too. But then I thought about Kalin and how everyone was staring at us and the hallway was quiet. "Myles..you can't just.. Look Bri said" I started before I got interrupted. " we're not talking about Bri! But you know what, she was there. And you weren't." He loudly whispered to me. Suddenly a voice spoke out from the crowd. "What the hell is going on now?" The voice that said it wasn't Myles or myself but it was Kalin, making his way through the crowd. I looked from him to Myles and back again. "Nothing." Myles said as he stared down at me. "Why are you still here? Go. Leave. Your guy is here." Whispered Myles before he walked away. I turned around and walked towards Kalin. "Sorry. I saw him and exploded because he ditched me when we had to present our project. It was so embarrassing, he's such an inconsiderate piece of shit." I said, clinging to Kalin. He laughed slightly. "It's okay, that is over now."
I smiled but I knew that wasn't true. It was never over with Myles. His words made me feel numb yet slightly anxious. He was always very straight forward and I never knew how to react to him. He wasn't afraid to not be loved and that was something I admired. That was sadly one of my biggest fears. I guess you could say that's why I clung to Kalin for as long as I did. I was afraid.
Myles was like a wild storm. Like tsunami in Hawaii. But I liked being loved by Kalin. His love was gentle and kind like a small ripple in the ocean. But I think that it was some time between when Myles walked away that day and when Kalin embraced me as we walked the opposite direction, that I stopped liking ripples in the ocean. I think it was then that I fell in love with being numb. In that short time I fell in love with wild storms and and the thought of being consumed by tsunamis.
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Petals In The Wind - a Myles Parrish story
Fanfiction*I was really excited for our date, but for the record, I swear I didn't know. I didn't know it would break up a friendship. I didn't know it would end a relationship. Hand on the bible, I didn't know the price of dating your enemy's best friend. Or...