Petals In The Wind - a Myles Parrish story

Duckling Cycle

"I'm so sorry Mira." Laura let out a sigh and rubbed my hair. "I don't know what to tell you. I mean.. it hurts until it doesn't."

We had been sitting in the same spot in the music hall since first block. I didn't feel like moving and what Laura said didn't really help. "What's that supposed to mean?" I whined. I felt Laura shrug her shoulders as she continued to stroke my hair. "That means that you're gonna get your heart broken, probably more than once. And no matter what the stupid teen magazines and blogs say, nothing can heal a broken heart but time, so like I said-"

"Yeah I know, it hurts until it doesn't." I interrupted. I wasn't looking at Laura but I knew her well enough to know she was nodding her head. "It sure does baby girl." She added. "Sadly."

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I ended up leaving school early when Laura had to finally go to class. Going home didn't seem like an option, I didn't have time for questions from my parents. I decided to go to the lake. A breeze blew by that made me shiver and even though it was getting colder, I still didn't move. I just watched as the ducklings followed their mother in circles in the water.

I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't move until a hand touched my shoulder and I jumped with shock. Turning around, I saw the last person I expected to... Kalin.

"Oh, you scared me." I smiled as I turned back to the lake. "Can I take a seat?" He questioned as he sat down without waiting for my answer. I nodded and didn't look his direction. "What are you doing here, shouldn't you be in school?" I asked.

"I should be asking you the same thing." Touché. "But," he added, "Laura told me what happened. I knew you'd probably come here. You're my friend, I want you to be okay."

I finally looked up at Kalin and let out a sigh followed by a small, short lived smile. Kalin grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer so that I could rest my head on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk?"

I shook my head. "No."

So we didn't. We sat in silence, the comfortable kind. I found myself staring at the same lake with the same ducks swimming in the same circle for hours with Kalin. I kind of felt like the ducks, in some never ending cycle. Around and around and around.

"You know what," I whispered, breaking the silence, "they should try swimming in squares." Kalin let out a small laugh, "I think so too."

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Kalin ended up having to leave but I stayed until the ducks few away and the sun began to abandon the sky. Getting up, I swiped the dirt off of my clothes and began my walk home. I passed by Myles' house on the way and I stopped right in front of his intimidatingly long driveway. I marveled at the long columns that stood before his humongous door. Wow. It got me every time. It made me feel so small. Just like him. He had the tendency to make me feel so small.

I must have been so infatuated with the house that I didn't even notice someone walk through the front door and up the long driveway and right in front of me until they blocked my view. I snapped at of my trance and focused my eyes. It was Myles' mother.

"Oh, uhm hi Ms. Parish," I stuttered nervously, "I'm sorry, I was just, its just that... you have a really pretty house." I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. She let out a laugh and placed her hand on my shoulder for reassurance. "No darling, it's okay. Well, I just made dinner and I miss having you around. You think your parents would mind if you stayed for dinner?"

I froze. I didn't want to be rude and decline but I could not sit at a dinner table with Myles without losing my mind. Before I could even answer Ms. Parish made the decision for me. "Don't worry, I'll call them up right now, let's get inside! It's getting chilly." Flabbergasted, I followed Ms. Parrish down the intimidatingly long drive way, pass the Victorian style columns and into the humongous door that they guarded. A burst of warm air hit me immediately and I loosened up.

I looked around and saw Myles no where. "Well Mirlana, you can go ahead and sit at the table, I made lasagna for dinner. I'll bring your plate right to you." She paused and looked around just as I did moments before. "Myles! Myles!" She echoed before strutting into the kitchen. Almost immediately the sound of feet racing down the stairs could be heard and then Myles appeared in the doorway. I put my head down, in order to avoid serious eye contact. Maybe he won't see me, I thought. Wait that's stupid, of course he will notice an extra human in his house.

"Mira?"

I stayed silent and played with my fingers, acting as if I didn't hear him, although he was only a few feet away from me. "Mirlana." This time it was a statement, not a question. I slowly raised my head and looked at him. Luckily for me, his mom came into the dining room seconds later with my plate in her hand. "I didn't know if you wanted salad but I put a little on just in case. You don't have to eat it. And Myles, honey, sit down we have a guest." I smiled and thanked her while never looking back in Myles' direction. I focused on my food, mostly moving it around the plate and then eating tiny portions when Ms. Parish looked my way.

It wasn't that the food was gross, because it was amazing. I just couldn't eat with Myles staring at me. I felt his gaze burning holes through my forehead. The whole dinner was Ms. Parish going on about different topics just to fill the silence and me agreeing, laughing and smiling on cue. Once it was over I offered to put the dishes away while Ms. Parish took a phone call. "I'll help too." Myles jumped up and grabbed dishes, following me into the kitchen.

I mentally rolled my eyes when I heard him enter. I regretted not walking straight home. "Mira, please talk to me." His voice sounded desperate. I stayed silent as I rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. "Baby, let me explain." He was so close to me that I could feel his breath on my neck. I turned around and pushed him away from me.

"Get away from me. There's nothing to explain! Even if what she said was true, you couldn't wait 5 fucking minutes huh? You didn't call, you didn't text, nothing! Kalin is the best person I've come across in a long time and I sat him down and broke the heart he trusted me with. For what? For you to hurt me?" I lowered my voice and turned back around towards the sink and added, "karma really is a bitch, huh."

The tension in the room was insane. I put the last dish away and pushed pass Myles, leaving the kitchen. Finding Ms. Parish I gave her a hug and thanked her for everything and then left with out looking back at him. My head was spinning. I felt like I had that conversation way too many times and I had been on both ends of it. Not "sleeping with someone behind someone else's back" conversation but the whole "just when you think life has handed you some lemons, karma comes around and leaves you nothing but the seeds as a sad reminder" type thing. I've been Karma and I've been the one holding the lemons. It's a never ending cycle. Around and around and around, it's always the same scenario. But something good did come from betrayal and misfortune. I reached a conclusion that night.

Maybe I should start swimming in squares.