Petals In The Wind - a Myles Parrish story

Lost In The Waves

"You can't mean that. You want Kalin." He said, almost like it was to himself. He seemed to love telling me what was best for me. He actually still does.

I broke free of his grip and rolled my eyes. "Stop. Stop telling me what and who I want. You don't know shit about me Myles. If you did you would know that you are my inspiration. And you wreck me. The only reason I'm with Kalin is because you wreck me. Yeah I like him but you fucked it up. You make me feel like all of the oxygen has left the room and like I've been consumed in a rain cloud. You make me angry but you also make me smile. I've never met someone who can make me wanna pull my hair out one minute and then run into a field of roses the next. You make my fucking head hurt Myles. You're a tornado, you just come and push everything inside me around and make me crazy but I've began to love natural disasters because I began to love you, you fucking retard."

I took a deep breath an then buried my face into my hands. It was silent for a while except for our slightly heavy breathing and the birds singing in the trees. I felt like an emotional wreck. What was I doing? I didn't even know. Myles finally brother the silence as he pulled me back towards him. "I was your inspiration?"

I rolled my eyes again. I had been doing that a lot lately. "Are you serious? That's all you got out of that?" He shook his head and let out a puff of air. "I'm still processing this all okay, can you play along for once please?" I whispered "whatever" under my breath and then shook my head yes. "Yeah Myles. You are still my inspiration."

In all honesty, I hated being mushy. Like I told you all earlier, I am not very good with feelings. I never have been. It felt weird actually saying what I felt. It made my cheeks burn red causing me to hide deeper into my blanket. "And.." Myles started, looking down on me, "and you love me? I confuse you and hurt you and make you angry but.. but you love me?"

I smiled up at him. "There's a poem," I said, "it goes like: I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind. I hope you find someone that can't escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring."

He paused again. I feel like it always takes him centuries to process every word someone says but I've never minded. His pensive look is quite adorable. He gets wrinkles in between his eyebrows as he pushes them together and his bottom lip hangs just a little and he looks up, at nothing really, trying to comprehend every last part of what someone says. Right down to the commas. After a while he laid his head on top of mine. "So," he started, "what does this mean for you, me and Kalin."

I closed my eyes and let out a breath. I hated thinking of breaking someone's heart. Especially a heart of pure gold like Kalin's. He's so precious but he wasn't for me. He was so perfect. He deserved someone equally perfect. But me? I deserved a storm. A wild ocean. I deserved a tsunami named Myles Parrish. "I hope that Kalin can find someone who can't escape the love they have for him just like I can't escape the love I have for you. And I hope he finds someone who loves sweet, gentle ripples in the oceans the way that I love your storm and your waves. And I hope that you find me as the only sea worth sailing."

We both stayed quiet for a while. I pressed myself as close as I could to him and let him embrace me tightly. He smelled like something with a label "for men" on it and I loved it, I can't lie. I liked the warmth of his skin as it touched mine. I took off my blanket and wrapped it around both of us to protect us from the wind. I'm not sure how long we sat there but the sky began to change into purple hues. I also had the first big realization about my life that day.

I went missing for a whole day. And the world kept spinning. The sun kept shining. The flowers were still pretty and the world went on. Yet, someone out there missed me. And even though in the grand scheme of things, I'm as important as an ant to an elephant, to someone I was the universe.

Myles stood up and extended his hand to me. "Come on, I'll help you up. We should probably get going, I forgot about how worried your parents are." I jumped up quickly. I had forgotten about my parents too. I leaned against Myles for support as he guided me through the woods. I could barely see and the wind was making my eyes water so visibility was quite low. I could still recognize the change of scenery when we finally made it out of the woods.

I probably looked ridiculous. My hair was a mess, I was dirty, I had a dirty blanket around me and I was clinging on to Myles like a lost puppy. I couldn't see but I was hoping no one was outside. It was embarrassing to be honest. We finally made it to my front door step and Myles stopped and looked down at me. "Are you ready?"

I let out a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for the millions of questions my parents were going to bombard me with. I shook my head yes and extended my hand to knock on the door. Myles grabbed my arm and I turned my attention back to him. "What?" I looked up at his blurry image and waited for an explanation. The wasn't one. Just a kiss.

Granted, it was a short one, but it was a kiss nonetheless. Although I couldn't see, I'd bet my last penny that he turned the brightest shade of red. He never said a word either, that's the crazy part. He just rang the doorbell and walked away.

I heard feet clicking on the hard wood floors and then the door opened.

"MY BABY. JASON ITS OUR BABY!" My mom embraced me in a hug so tight that I couldn't seem to draw a breath. Soon followed my dad. "Holy crap, Mirlana! What happened, we were so worried! What happened to your glasses? Come inside sweetie, let's make sure you're okay."

I smiled and hugged them back. It felt good to be home, although I was only gone for less than 24 hours. As soon as we took a seat on the couch, the questions from my dad started again. I took a deep breath. I had so much explaining to do. And not just to my parents but also to Kalin. I had to think of a way to tell my little ripple in the ocean that I got lost in the waves.