Petals In The Wind - a Myles Parrish story

Personal Safe Haven: Part 2

I felt like no matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep. The temperature outside dropped down to 40 degrees as the sun drifted away and I could hear the wind blowing against my house.
Sighing, I turned over and looked at the glowing red numbers on my clock.

4:36am.

I wasn't sure exactly why I was so restless. My mind was a battlefield and I was emotionally exhausted but my body just wasn't tired. I needed to relax. The first thing I tried was making hot tea. I took deep breaths and let the hot liquid flow down my throat.

It helped a little but I was still in destress. The bags under my eyes sagged and my locks of curls were tangled within each other. I was surely a mess. I tried to think of all the things that relieve stress and help you sleep. I even went to google for advice. I was pretty desperate. I had to be awake for school at 6am so any amount of sleep I could get was crucial.

Out of ideas, I sighed and fell backwards, trust fall style, onto my bed and looked at the clock.

5:06am.

I felt like crying, I already knew I would fall asleep as soon as I sat down at school. That was my luck. I tried thinking of the ocean and the stars and all things peaceful when an idea popped into my head. I remembered a place where your problems go to die. Where bad vibes flow away with the current of the stream. Myles' personal safe haven.

I had went back once after Myles had taken me, just to see if it was really there or if I was imagining it. It was beautiful and it helped me relax. I grabbed a blanket, flashlight and pillow and put on my warmest sweatpants, hoodie and fuzzy socks before sneaking out of the window of my room. I remembered exactly where it was, like it was engraved in my mind.

It wasn't far from where I lived and using the flashlight I brought along, I found my way there pretty quickly. It was gorgeous at night. The stars seemed to stretch on forever. I never had the pleasure of seeing so many stars cover one sky and it's something I'll never forget.

I wrapped up burrito style in my blanket and laid down on the cold grass with the pillow under my head. My plan was to listen to the stream, stare at the stars, calm my nerves and then go home and sleep for a while. I only could stay for a few minutes but anything that could help was worth it.

My mind was blank, surprisingly, as I attempted to let the wind blow away my stress and the let the stars take away my worries. The only sounds were those of nature. I didn't like outside or nature or bugs or dirt or grass. But I liked it there. I loved every aspect of its beauty and peace.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself floating down the stream with no worries.

••••••••••••

I opened my eyes and the sun shined violently through the trees. It took me a moment to become aware of my surroundings before I panicked.

"Fuck." I whispered.

What time was it? I grabbed my glasses and put them back on my face. I could feel my curls blowing in the wind as I jumped up and gathered my things. In a hurry, I began to walk quickly towards the exit of the woods before I tripped and fell flat on my face only two feet from my starting point.

When I pushed myself up from the ground, my vision was blurry. I didn't have time for set backs, my parents were probably freaking out. And they were, no doubt. At that very moment, little did I know how crazy my parents were going looking for me. I took off my glasses and attempted to clean them but it turned out dirt wasn't the problem.

I could feel the cracks in the glass as I ran my fingers across it. "FUCK." I groaned as I sat down defeated. I couldn't leave if I couldn't see. And of course I left my phone at home. That's just my luck. I wondered if Kalin noticed I was gone. I wondered if Myles noticed. Probably not, I thought. Why would he? I sighed and rolled myself back up in my blanket and plopped back onto the grass. The sun slightly warmed my face but the wind counteracted and gave me chills. I just wanted to go home.

While I laid there I began to think of crazy scenarios, just to keep my mind busy.

What if, I thought, what if Laura and I traveled the world together.

In my mind I pictured us walking the streets of Barcelona.

My crop top with "La Vida Loca" on the front fit nicely with my high waisted boyfriend jeans and my circular sun glasses. I imagined Laura doing my hair in two French braids that I've always loved.
What if as we were walking a man stops us on the corner. "Hola!" He would say. Of course we would have been practicing our spanish so we would know to carry on a conversation and that's exactly what we would do. He would be super sweet and take us on a tour. We would go to the best restaurants and museums and even some clubs or cafes. I imagined us sitting on a bed in a hotel room eating churros and watching novelas.

I giggled and smiled. The wind blew again causing me to shiver and wrap myself tighter in the blanket. I thought of how crazy my parents were going. I groaned, the more I thought about it the more scared and stupid I felt. Shaking my head, I thought of another scenario to change the subject of my inner thoughts.

What if I married Kalin. I imagined an outside wedding. The air would smell like spring and cherry blossoms, which would be aligning the lake in the background. The wind would be blowing but only slightly. Just enough to make cherry blossom petals float in the sky. My dress, oh my dress. I've had it designed since I was a little girl. I wanted it to be cream colored, like off white eggshell. Even champagne colored maybe. The sleeves and neck line would be lace. The top would be a corset type and the bottom would flow into a train at least 3 feet long. Instead of a veil I wanted a flower crown made of daisies. Only my closest friends and family would be there, along with Kalin's too of course. The music would start playing. Something nice, something with violins. Everyone would look back as I started my journey down the aisle, letting a few tears escape. But it was okay to cry, I was happy. Kalin would smile at me from the end and I would smile back. Once I make it to the end, I will grab his hands and the minister would begin. But then there's a pit in my stomach. And deep dark black hole seeming to consume me from the inside. Would I be nervous? Probably. Or probably not. I look into the crowd and see Myles sitting beside my parents. He would have a sad look in his eyes. A lost look. "I object." I would whisper. The minister stops and Kalin looks at me. I can't seem to look back up at him so I stare at Myles. "Mirlana." He would say. "Mirlana. Mirlana. Mirlana." He repeats.

I could almost hear it as clear as day, a voice saying my name. Suddenly the voice started to sound too real as I came out of my daze. I opened my eyes and screamed when I saw a blurry figure stand above me. "It's okay. Ive been looking for you everywhere! Why are you out here?" The voice was very familiar. It was Myles.

"Myles can you help me up, I broke my glasses, I can't see a thing."

I felt a hand reach for mine and pull me up. I latched onto his arm as he guided me to a rock to sit on. "Mira, why are you here? I was so worried. I came here to try to calm myself and get my head together and figure out where you went. What happened?"

I smiled inwardly. He looked for me, I thought to myself. "I came here last night because I couldn't sleep. I needed to relax, there's been so much on my mind lately." I paused, thinking of the scenario that was playing in my head moments before. I felt my face get hot meaning it was probably tomato red. I ducked further in my blanket and continued. "I fell asleep out here on accident and when I woke up I tried to leave but I fell and broke my glasses and I can't see shit. It was stupid."

Myles grew silent for a while before grabbing my shoulder and pulling me closer to him. "Tell me what's on your mind." He said. I contemplated lying. And then I contemplated telling the truth. I looked up at him and even tho I couldn't see much, I could see him looking back down on me. I sighed.

"Nothing." I said. I didn't know how to explain to him what was really on my mind. It sounded crazy in my head so I could only imagine how it would sound out loud. Myles wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me even closer. I didn't even reject or protest, I just embraced his scent and the warmth that came along with him. "It's not nothing. Obviously you would not be in the middle of the woods if it was nothing. You can tell me. What's on your mind? What's got you so twisted?"

I lowered my head onto his shoulder. I was tired of playing games and being confused.

"You." I whispered into his neck, nonchalantly. I could feel him tense up but I was tired of hiding and hoping and being twisted. So I said it. Just like that.

"You are what's on my mind."