Petals In The Wind - a Myles Parrish story

A Day Messier Than My Hair

School was completely awkward the day after. By then, word had gotten around, surprisingly fast, about what happened at the cafe. It's not like I got bullied for it but, like I said, it was just awkward. I had broken up two friendships and two relationships. On top of that I had classes with Bri, Kalin and Myles- but not all at the same time, thank god.

The next day I hesitated even going to school. The only reason I went is because me and Myles had to present our project that day and I couldn't let him down twice in a row. I was in such a horrible mood that day, and you could tell. I threw on some black Adidas sweatpants, a tiedye shirt, purple vans and a north face jacket and left the house.
I didn't even have the energy to put my hair up as usual, so the wind tossed it all over the place during my walk to school. I didn't care. I just wanted to go to art class and leave but, sadly, that was my last class so I had to stick it out the entire day.

The first person I saw when I walked through the door was Myles with his usual group of friends.
Hearing the door open, he turned back to see who was entering and saw me. He instantly turned away and continued with his conversation and I just walked to my locker.
Laura was waiting for me there with two cups of French vanilla lattes.

"Hey love, got you coffee." she greeted me. I smiled gratefully and grabbed my coffee. "Thanks, much needed," I sighed, opening my locker and taking my books out. "Feel as rough as you look?" She joked, which did make me laugh. My hair looked more like a birds nest than hair. "Pretty much." I shrugged, shutting my locker and sliding down to sit in front of it. Laura followed my actions and sat beside me. "Let me fix your hair please, it's giving me anxiety."

Laughing, I gave her permission to be a miracle worker and attempt to tame my locks. It took her forever! By the time she was finished with my two French braids, we were both five minutes late to first block.
I hesitated even going at all but I decided that maybe learning something would take my mind off of things. I opened the door to my chorus class and everyone turned to stare at me, including Kalin, whom I forgot I even had that class with. I gave a nervous smile and avoided eye contact as I took my seat in the back, where I liked it. I could feel people looking between me and Kalin like their eyes were burning holes right through me. I immediately regretted going to that class so I just kept my head down until the bell rang.

As I was leaving I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and was surprised to see Kalin standing behind me. "Can we talk?" I nodded and pulled him to a corner so no one else would hear us. "I'm going to ask you three questions," he started," and you have to promise to tell the truth." I nodded once again, fully preparing myself.

"Question one, why were you at the café with Myles?" He asked, looking me in my eyes, ready to detect any lies. "Because, we are partners for an art project and we needed to finish it and we just got bored of working in his basement. The café was literally just a change of scenery and by the way, I was just wiping coffee from his forehead." I said, honestly. Kalin paused for a minute but he never took his eyes off of me. After a while he started with his next question.

"Question two, do you love me?"
I paused. Did I? I thought about how crushed I was when he left. I thought about how happy he made me. I thought about his smile and his laugh and everything that I had grown so attached to. Everything that I loved. "I do." I said, confidently.

He smiled briefly and then became serious once again. "Question three. Do you love Myles?"

I froze. That's the last thing I wanted, to love Myles. He was so complicated. Everything with him made me feel confused. I shook my head. "Not even Kalin, he is- well he was- just my friend. That's all."
Kalin smiled and embraced me in a hug. "I love you too." he whispered as he pulled me closer. I hugged him tightly and took in his scent. I didn't realize how much I had missed him.

••••
I grabbed the project from my locker and rushed to art class. I was actually excited to present the project because, minus the fact that Myles hated me, everything had gone pretty smoothly. I thought it turned out gorgeous. Walking into class I saw that Myles' seat was empty. I began to get nervous, hoping that he didn't ditch me. The seconds passed by and they turned into minutes. 5 minutes. 20 minutes. 35 minutes.

Where was he?

Finally it was our turn. I swallowed hard and looked around once more, hoping he would pop up out of no where with a goofy smile and red cheeks. I had horrible stage fright by myself. But he didn't. I slowly made my way to the front of the class and rested the canvas against the chalk board. I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead as I attempted to explain the project and what inspired it. I began to stutter and turn red, it was completely embarrassing.

My art teacher smiled at me when I was finished, "Beautiful work," he complimented, "I love it, you may be seated." I sighed with relief, glad that the embarrassment was over. It was replaced, though, but anger. I had told Myles once about how terrified I get speaking in class by myself. I'd always been the one in the corner. The one away from the drama and the noise. I didn't know how to deal with having so much attention on me.

He knew that. It was one thing to be mad at me but he had taken it too far. I came there for him, so he wouldn't be alone during the presentation but obviously he didn't have the decency to do the same. Rolling my eyes, I stared at the clock as the rest of the presentations were made. I just wanted to leave. As always, the class dragged on slower the more I watched the clock, but finally the bell rung and I immediately went to find Kalin. He was waiting in his usual spot by the vending machines. I embraced him from behind and he automatically turned around and hugged me back.

"What's wrong babe?" He asked, his deep voice laced with concern. I closed my eyes tightly and took in every aspect of him. His scent, his muscular arms, his soft sweater, his heart beat, all of it. "I just missed you." I said in a whisper. Which I did. All I wanted when I sat down after embarrassing myself was to wrap my arms around my boyfriend. I felt his arms tighten around me as he leaned down a little and kissed my forehead. "I missed you too."

I felt as if at that moment, the universe was telling me I made the right choice with Kalin. He was here, Myles wasn't. He was consistent. Myles definitely wasn't. I felt that somewhere deep down I wanted Kalin more than I wanted to breathe. More than I wanted anything. I had everything I wanted. But my stomach was still churning as I thought about it. My body needed something. My heart demanded something. Something my mind didn't want. But I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, I didn't really want to.

All I wanted to do was not worry about anyone or anything but myself and the boy whose eyes sparkled and whose arms wrapped around me like a sweater and whose laugh could make me feel better. We were all I wanted to worry about. But it wasn't all that was on my mind. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time but my body needed something that wasn't there. Something so far away yet so close. Filled with... peace? Yeah, something filled with peace. And good vibes.