Worse for Hope- Book #2 in the WF Series

Chapter 14: Restroom

✿Bethane's POV:✿

I walk to the restroom which is at the end of the hallway, pushing the door open a little aggressively to quickly catch my breath. My eyes feel glassy, and the pairs of eyes on me at our table and probably from the other people around us as I let out my dumb outburst is running through my head in circles.

This is another reason I throw myself into work. Because I hate this shitty feeling and don't want to ever go through it. This is also why I don't hang out with other people purposely. Especially people like Rider who know parts of me that I shouldn't have opened up about.

This is a single bathroom thankfully, meaning there are no stalls and no one's in here besides me. I find the mirror, my body language and face looking full-on red, my hands shaking a little.

Why did I even agree to this? What am I trying to prove? That I care for him? I don't. I've moved on.

I'm doing things without her. I'm betraying her. I lost my best friend for the love of God and I'm over here stressing over a boy. I should never get over something like that.

I'm such a horrible person.

How do I plan on becoming a lawyer when something like this has me shaking in a bathroom? I shouldn't be this weak. I shouldn't be so sensitive.

I breathe out one shaky breath before digging in my purse to find my medication. I haven't used it since I haven't had an anxiety attack in a while which is why when I've dug to the bottom of my bag, there's no bottle.

Shit!
I left it in my suitcase.

I begin to pace back and forth as I shake my hands out in front of me with the thoughts of what everyone must've thought of me. What Alex must've thought of me if she was here.

A knock sends my thoughts tumbling down, and I remember that I forgot to lock the door when I came in here.

"One second," I swallow, trying to pull myself together as fast as I can.

The door suddenly pushes open, surprising me since I responded pretty loudly when they knocked. Then I see that it's no stranger, but basically one at this point.

Rider walks in with no care in the world that this is the women's restroom.

"What are you doing!" I shout at his careless face.

"Are you okay?" he skips past my question and goes to straight worry.

The minute his eyes go down to my slightly shaking hands, I press my fingernails into my palm and squeeze it so tightly that I can almost feel the blood rushing up to my skin.

"I'm fine." I swallow the lump in my throat again. "You should go," I suggest, turning around because I will not let him see me so weak. He's already caused that on me, I won't let him do it again.

I blink the tears down and glance at how pathetic I look in the mirror. I mean, come on. I'm literally having a meltdown at people looking at me.

I'm so stupid.

"You know, that waiter looked like he hated his job," Rider out of nowhere points out his observation as I see him through the mirror standing against the wall, looking up at the ceiling.