Grief. It can tear someone's life apart or make them stronger. Though that may be true, Bethane only feels the pain. She lost the person who made her life exciting, what was she supposed to feel?
But losing someone right in front of you hurts more...
"Rider, I have to go," I laugh as he continues to hold onto me like a leach.
"You have to go. You don't want to," he corrects me.
"My Uber is waiting outside."
"You're paying him, tell him or her to wait a damn second," he complains, squeezing me tighter.
"I'll call you when I land and I'll call you tonight and every other night," I promise.
"When's the next time you have time off?" He finally releases me from the hug.
"Christmas."
The sadness now just hits me that we're going to be so far apart for a while. Well, not for a while. Probably a couple of weeks, but still. I got used to him being around me often considering we lived together.
This would be the time to admit those three words, and you would think that, but it's way too soon. We've only been together for what? A week now. I can't just blurt it out and scare him away. Also, I need more trust. I need time to be sure that we can work in a relationship because those three words aren't just words to me. I don't want doubts when they come out of my mouth.
Rider sighs. "Okay, bye." He's about to pull me in for a hug again and I already know where this is going.
After an hour, I finally make it to the airport and get onto my plane. I didn't let Rider come with me to the airport because he probably wouldn't let me board my flight.
It's a long plane ride, but I make it back safely.
I'm supposed to be out of Rider's apartment by next month which is perfect since my room at Aunt Blanchard's hotel will be ready by then.
I unpack my bags, and as I'm sitting in this weirdly quiet apartment, the doorbell rings. I get up from the floor to go answer it. I thought it was going to be the mail or something, but when I swing the door open, it's someone I definitely did not expect.
"Dad?" I say in surprise.
What is this? Parents coming home day?
He looks like a mess.
His eyes are dark, it seems like he hasn't showered in days, and his hair is going in all kinds of directions. His height seems a little lower since he's slouching, his body completely out of shape. Our family gains weight pretty easily so he must've stopped working out.
He doesn't look anything like himself.
"Hey, pumpkin." I can tell he forces a smile.
I swallow because I don't know what to say.
He hurt Mom and me all because of his stubbornness. What the hell do people do in these types of situations?
"What are you doing here?" I fumble over my words.
"Is Rider here?" he skips past my question to ask his own.
"He left for San Francisco," I reply.
He oh's, almost a whisper.
"Come in." I move aside, permitting him since I don't know what else to do.
He nods with another tugged smile before entering the apartment. I follow behind him and lead him to the living room where he takes a seat on the couch.
Wow, this is awkward. This is the second time I've had one of the most awkward encounters of my life.
He looks around the apartment while I stand against the kitchen counter and try to take an interest in a wall.
"Have you spoken to Mom?" he softly asks me, breaking the silence.
I shake my head yes. "You?"
He shakes his head no with a small laugh, not a humorous one though. "She won't answer any of my calls."
The room goes quiet again.
"Dad," I finally say.
He looks up from the ground and directly at me for the first time.
"Why didn't you ask Uncle B for help if it meant it would help our family?"
He laughs the same way again, more sarcasm than humor.
"Your uncle was always the person who would take care of me and your aunt. I needed to prove to myself that I could do the same thing," he admits. "I needed to be able to take care of my own family without the help of your uncle, but I let my ego get in the way and I'm sorry for that."
I hate the feeling when people apologize to me. It makes me get all emotional and want to cry because a person doesn't apologize when they have guilt, and seeing guilt on somebody I love's face makes me almost feel nauseous.
"You shouldn't be apologizing to me." I play with my nails to control my tears.
"Yes, I should. I was the reason we couldn't give you much time when you were little. I should've realized that after Alex..." He stops right there as he chokes up on his words. "We weren't there for you that morning and we should've been." My eyes begin to get glassy at the memory of that day.
"You had work, how could you have known." I shrug off.
"We had work because I was too stubborn to ask for help," he corrects me. "We were working triple shifts and weren't focusing on raising our daughter."
"You were there for me in the end," I reason with him. "That's all that matters." Tears roll down my cheeks, as well as his.
"I'm sorry about Rider," he finally gets off his chest "But seeing that look on your face when you came home and were completely distraught is a look I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy."
"You didn't have the right to hide the letter from me," I say softly.
"I know," he nods with an apologetic voice.
"But I would've done the same thing for my daughter so I don't blame you," I add, making his eyes go a little wide since he didn't expect me to respond with that. "I just need time."
"I know." He looks down at his interlocked hands.
He stands up to leave and I push myself off the counter while I wipe away my tears with the sleeve of my shirt.
"Can I ask you a question? How did Rider win you back?" I know immediately that he's asking how to win Mom back.
"He never gave up on us." I can't help but smile at that sentence. "Don't give up on Mom either."
He gives me a small smile which makes my heart burst a little since I know he actually wants Mom back. She just needs time to process it all and be on her own. I did and I'm glad I did it too. If I hadn't, I don't think I would've been in the position I'm in today and learned to understand my father's reasoning. My mom and dad have been married ever since they were around my age. She needs time to deal with heartbreak that big.
I just hope they can find their way back to each other.
♥ ★ ❦ ✱ ♥
Word Count: 1185
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