Breakthroughs within Barriers (Youth Series #4)

24

#BWB24

"Hello? Yes po. Ako po ito, si Victoria. Kayo po yung nag e-mail sa'kin na-" hindi pa ako tapos sa sasabihin ko pero binabaan niya agad ako

I bit my nails and called another brand. Narinig kong nag-ring iyon pero hindi nila ako sinagot kaya binaba ko rin ang tawag. I looked at my emails again and contacted another brand. 

Pumikit ako ng mariin habang hinihintay na sagutin nila ang tawag ko. Nabuhayan ako dahil pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay may sumagot din sa'kin. "Hello?"

"Yes ma'am? Sino po sila?" I heard a female's voice

I swallowed hard. "Uh. Kayo po yung nag-email sa'kin na brand. Ako po yung kinuha niyong maging commercial model-"

"Again, sino po sila? May I know your name po?"

I licked my lips. "Victoria po. V-victoria Andrada."

"I'm sorry ma'am but we already found a new model," she replied

"What? But-" before I can protest, she already hanged up the call

Tinignan ko ulit ang phone ko. Nanlabo ang mata ko habang nakatitig doon. Niyakap ko ang tuhod ko at sikisik ang sarili sa sulok ng kwarto ko. Yumuko ako at kusang bumuhos ulit ang luha sa mata ko. 

These past few days, I've been reaching out for the brands that wanted to work with me before but none of them replied to my e-mails. Halos lahat sila ay hindi sinagot ang tawag ko. They ended all the contracts with me eversimce the scandal happened. 

Umilaw at tumunog ang phone ko sa sahig. Tinignan ko iyon. I picked it up and saw another batch of hate posts about me. They kept on tagging me and mentioning me about the scandal. They all made fun of me. I've received nothing but hate.

Bumagsak din ang mga followers ko. I lost more than half of them. From thousands, turned into hundreds. All of my pictures got a huge amount of dislikes and hateful comments. I turned it off but it didn't stop them from throwing hate on me. They even invaded my personal privacy, pati pamilya ko ay dinamay rin nila.

Sino ba mga magulang niyan? Hindi pinalaki ng maayos.

Hindi siguro siya mahal ng nanay niya kaya ganyan. Naging rebelde.

Nag-uumpisa palang siya pero bagsak na agad career niya. Buti nga. Hindi naman niya deserve.

Pati sarili niyang fans ay tinalikuran na rin siya. Dapat lang. Isang malaking fake ang iniidolo nila. Puro kabastusan ang alam.

Porn star ata siya e. Siguro pati nanay niya. Mana mana lang.

Sobrang problematic niya grabe. Hindi nawawalan ng issue. Mas lalo siyang lumala. Tapos ano? Mag-popost lang siya sa IG story niya ng apology letter. Hindi naman sincere. 

I honestly regret being a fan of her. Ang toxic niya pati na rin ng fandom niya. Hindi siya isang magandang ehemplo sa mga kabataan.

I threw my phone on the floor. Niyakap ko ang sarili habang umiiyak. I looked at my room and it was a complete mess, just like my life. I looked at my personal shelf filled with trophies, sashes, medals, and achievements I got whenever I enter a beauty pageant and fashion competitions. Andun din naka-display ang mga artworks na gawa mismo ng fans ko sa'kin. I have a big potrait of myself in a runway show. Mas lalo lamang akong humagulgol.

I tried my best to build my own castle by myself only to see it fall and collapse before my eyes.

The painful part was my dream, my goals, and my plans that I had envisioned for my future, is slowly slipping away from my grasp. I wish I can hold unto it tighter, but it turned into dust that vanished in thin air.