petrichor ; harry potter

2.5 | wabi-sabi

Wabi-Sabi
the discovery of beauty within the imperfections of life and art.

January 11, 2001

Ciana sat on her bed, early in the morning. Her wide eyes staring into the wall nearest to her. She felt paralyzed, a never-ending loop of everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks flashing behind her eyes. Her anger has dissipated into nothing. No. It didn't turn into anything, she knew what it has turned into but couldn't confess it out loud or to herself.

Having Juniper here would do some good, but to her, healing was independent. She would only feel guilty if she took that much help from him. Maybe she could distract herself with his problems, but he wouldn't let her. Juniper's voice ringing in her mind, an imaginative conversation going on in her mind.

She would ask about his problems to distract herself from trying to find a solution, and he would say, "This won't help, Ciana. You know it." And she did. She knew all of it. She just knew.

With a sigh, she stood and headed to the bathroom. Locking the door behind her quietly, considering the sleeping Luna outside the door. Turning the shower on, and stripping. Wrapping her arms around herself she walked into the hot water. Scolding even. She liked how it felt on her body. Washing her hair, and body. After she would stand under the water until it turned lukewarm, and her skin had wrinkled.

Everyone knew the five stages of grief.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

She wouldn't know for the life of her what stage she was in. She was in denial quite early, before his death. She was in denial before her father even took his last breath. How poetic. She would say to herself.

She stepped out of the shower and dried herself off with her towel. Again, wrapping her hands around her body. Clinging to herself. She walked over to the mirror and stared, only for a moment though. It could be the one healthy thing she did today.

Avoiding the thoughts of Harry that she felt incoming, she walked out of the door and to her closet. Picking out her uniform and robes, she changed and ran her hands over the ruffled edges. Going back to the bathroom to brush her teeth quickly and splash water on her face.

When she walked out, Luna was awake and waiting for Ciana to leave the restroom. She smiled, "Good morning, Ciana."

"Good morning," Ciana whispered and went to grab her bag.

"Going back today?" She asked from inside the restroom.

"Yes, right now," Ciana answered as she opened the door.

"Okay, I'll meet you there!" Ciana walked out and down to the common room. She didn't know if she should wait for Juniper. She's gotten used to knowing he wouldn't walk down those stairs to the common room every morning.

Though the sound of someone walking down alerted her and she looked up. Juniper stood there, a bag hung over his shoulders and his uniform on. "Good morning," He grinned and Ciana huffed and continued walking. "Okay, then." He followed behind her.