The Rising Phoenix // Vani Fanfiction

#100. A Reality Check

Daksh came down to see what was going on and saw the gift.

"Oh, Veer bhai ne diya hai?" He asked.

"Nahi. Ahana Chachi ne."

"Unhe kya zaroorat pad gayi gift dene ki?" Daksh asked. He was still bitter. Bani turned to look at him. She saw a stubborn boy. Someone who refused to understand.

Bani chuckled. "You know mujhe humesha lagta tha ki sirf naag-naagin hi pura bhoj leke chalte hai. They keep their grudges forever. Giving up grudges is extremely difficult for them. Experience se keh rahi hun. Par aaj samajh aaya ki cheel bhi aise hi hote hai."

"Bhabhi, you don't know about her. Na toh unhe humari fikar thi na hi dad ki. She only thought about herself."

"Daksh, kya unki identity sirf yeh hai ki woh tumhari maa hai or that she's chachu's wife?"

"Bhabhi, aap nahi samjhoge."

"Samajh tum nahi rahe ho, Daksh. You're lucky enough to have both your parents alive. Tumhare paas maa aur dad dono hai. You should ask those who don't have mother. What I wouldn't give to be able to see my mother again. Veer apni puri zindagi daaw par laga sakta tha kyuki use laga ki saamne uski mom hai. You're lucky enough that your mother is alive."

"Maine apna pura bachpan akele hi kata hai because she didn't want to stay. Maa toh apne bacchon ke liye sabh kuch de sakti hai. Toh kya unke liye itna mushkil tha humare saath rehna? Not like dad was harassing her or abusing her."

"Daksh, toh kya do logo ke alag hone ka reason sirf abuse ya harassment hona chahiye? Aur koi reasons nahi ho sakte? Puri zindagi kya sirf between the lines padte rahe? Kabhi toh kahe ki they want the other person to stay. Sirf shaadi se pehle hi tum uske liye effort karoge? Once she's married to you, its all granted ki woh tumhari hai kuch kehne ki zaroorat nahi hai? Everyone needs assurance, Daksh. Even a child does. Daksh, unless we learn to care for ourselves, we cannot care for anyone else. Tumhari family mein kabhi ladki paida nahi hui hai isiliye maybe tum woh samajh hi nahi sakte. We all have to be someone on our own and not just tags related to some man. Main Bani hun. Yeh important hai. Yeh identity important hai. Main Bani hun, main Adi-Naagin hun. I'm a person of my own before I'm someone's sister, someone's wife, someone's daughter or someone's mother. Yeh identity paane ki iccha rakhna galat nahi hai, Daksh."

"What about me? So, Me, Sam, Ponky and Monil didn't matter as much?"

"Daksh, tum kya bol rahe ho yeh samajh mein aa raha hai? Tumhari zindagi ki gaadi sirf tum par atki hai. You accuse her of thinking of herself but you can't see past yourself. Tumne apna bachpan apni maa ke saath nahi bitaya, sirf iss baat ko leke tum unse itni nafrat kar rahe ho. Imagine that your first born child hates your very guts. Usse zyaada dard aur kuch nahi de sakta, Daksh. Shayad tum kabhi kisi bacche ko janam nahi de sakte isiliye you'll never know. Jise apni kok mein nau mahine rakha, use dekhne se pehle hi usse itna pyaar kare, puri duniya ki buri nazar khud par le apne bacche par aane dene se pehle. You can't possibly ever repay her for that. Nothing you can do will surfice. That woman gave birth to you. She didn't abandon you, Daksh. You all abandoned her. Maa hai woh tumhari. Yeh unse tum kya, Bholenath bhi nahi cheen sakte. She will always be your mother. Maa ke saamne toh bhagwaan bhi sar jhuka lete hai."

"Bhabhi, aap toh sirf unke baare mein soch rahi hai."

"Daksh, tumhare paas daddyji the, chachu the, bhai the. Maa ki kami unmein se koi puri nahi kar paata par unke paas kon tha? Maa thi? Bhai the? Pati tha? Bete the? No one. Imagine yourself in that place. Completely alone. Nowhere to go. No one to call her own. That is the loneliest place to be in, Daksh. Shayad main reh hi nahi paati. I would've killed myself long ago agar main uss position mein hoti. Veer mujhse dur ho gaya tha, main teen din nahi bardaash kar paayi. Sirf ek insaan ke dur hone se tumhe itni takleef hui hai par unhone toh sabhko kho diya. Can you not feel her pain? Chalo apni chodo. Ponky? Apni maa ko usne kabhi nahi dekha. Na toh chachu unke baar mein baat karte hai. Na tum unke baare mein baat karna chahte ho. Sam se puche toh Sam ka dil toot jaata tha kyuki bas unka naam sunke Sam ko unki yaad aa jaati thi. He just assumed he was never supposed to ask about his mother. 21 saal mein pehli baar unse mila. 21 years, Daksh. No mother deserves to stay away from her childred for 21 years because she didn't want to stay in a place she wasn't appreciated or felt she was unwanted there."