i got you.

13 | So Maybe I'm Not Okay

Please be warned that this chapter discusses the act of rape. If this might trigger you, skip the chapter. Put yourself first :)

EMERSON

Getting home was a chore in itself. I mean, who would have thought transporting over 60 Mafia gangs and their families would prove to be so damn difficult. Most were able to acquire their own transport, some stayed nearer to LA but agreed to be of help in any way they could and others came back with Dante on the plane.

Given the circumstances of our arrival, Elle, Sophia, Xander and I drove back. It would take a few days but I couldn't get on a plane... not right now anyway.

It had been 2 days, 37 hours split into 2 days. The others were back within 8 hours.

But now, as my legs stretched from the aching of pushing on that pedal, I glanced up at the house. My home. My people and a place I knew I'd live and die for.

The questions Arianna asked me a few days ago lingered in the stem of my mind, reminding me during the drive that I did lie. And while it was necessary, and a lie that protected my child, it was still a lie. And I didn't want to lie to them.

I shook off the question and told them I'd explain when we were home, and now we were home and I was dreading the conversation.

Every inch of me was, for the first time in a long time, terrified.

I was terrified they'd look at me differently. That it would change what I wanted to fight so hard to keep. But every step that scratched the gravel under my foot, brought me closer to that. To this possible end. 

I'm sure I was overreacting. A paranoia that would run laps in my mind because of the nerves. After all, Elle was the only one who knew other than my blabbermouth father.

"Xander, baby, come on." I held my hand out as he ran round the car. Despite the 4 year old being a very active kid, he was good during the journey. Not too fussy, only when he was tired.

Sophia, his nanny, helped a lot. Oh god, I don't think I could have raised him without her. I found out very quickly after he was born that I couldn't do this alone, especially with my job. So I employed Sophia, who Xander looked up to like an Aunt.

"Now, I need you to listen to me ok?" I said, my eyes shining at him. Kneeling to his level, ignoring the cold of the pavement on my knees, I smiled as he nodded. "You are about to meet some of Mommy's friends. But I need you to stay close to me or Aunty Elle. Don't run off, you could get lost." I warn gently, the worry at opening new people to this part of my life lacing each word.

As I stand back up, Elle is stood behind Xander. She's looking at me with a small grin. "What?" I ask, furrowing my brow at her.

A loose shrug played at her shoulders, before she released her lip from her teeth. "Just... I'm just proud of you is all." She said, my eyes rolling at her comment. "We're going to get them you know, Joseph and Andrew." She assured me, a small nod was all I gave - my nerves too buzzed to fire a comment back.

Taking Xander's hand, his other in Eloise's, we made our way up the steps of the house.

The door was unlocked. And by natural, homey instinct I waltzed right in.

Looking to my right, towards the living room I saw the back of a very familiar head. And with a furrow of my brows I said a name.

"Noah?" I questioned, tucking Xander behind me while I turned my body. He turned his head, revealing Bruno with him. That alone relaxed my shoulders, if Bruno was sat with a smile on his face near him then he must be semi- trustworthy. "What are you doing here?" I asked curiously, Elle and Xander following me to them.