We need the old Kermit: Full Edition

Chapter 1

It was late in the evening at the Muppet Theater. There was no one in the audience and the stage was empty. Beauregard pushed the last set piece into the prop room and grabbed his mop and bucket. Clifford finished checking and adjusting the lights and climbed down to stage. Pops collected the money and receipts from that night's ticket sales and carried them backstage to Kermit's desk, where a small crowd had already gathered.

"Pops, how'd we do on tickets?" Kermit asked.

"Ten seats short of a full house," Pops said. Scooter wrote something on his clipboard.

"Good," Kermit said. "Clifford, did you figure out why that light was acting up?"

"Yeah, it's got a couple problems," Clifford said. "One, the lens is cracked. Two, it's rusty. And Three, it's old."

"Is there any way to fix it?" Kermit asked.

"Probably," Clifford said, "but it would be easier and cheaper just to get a new one."

"I'll work on it," Kermit said," and Scooter made another note on the clipboard.

"Scooter? Did Miss Diaz have any complaints?" Kermit asked, referring to their guest star.

"Just what we've been hearing from everyone for the past ten weeks," Scooter said. "Those ants are out of control. I've tried two kinds of traps, and neither one of them is working. I think we need an exterminator."

"How much were the ant traps?" Kermit asked.

"Twenty dollars all together," Scooter said, and he wrote something down.

"Alright," Kermit said. "So we've decided that we are going to do the flaming wire act as the opening for the show in two weeks, right? Pepe, can you get the permit by then?"

"Si, but there's a little fee, hokay," Pepe said. "I mentioned that earlier."

Kermit nodded. "Right. I'll get that to you tomorrow."

"Oh hey Kermin?" Pepe said. "The insurance company sent us another bill. I think dey raised de rates on us again, hokay!" he handed the bill to Kermit.

"Sheesh," Kermit said. "I'll look into that tomorrow." He handed the bill to Scooter, who tucked it into the clipboard beneath some other papers and wrote something down on the top sheet.

"Do we have the order for next week's acts?" Kermit asked.

"Oh- right here, Boss," Scooter said, pulling a piece of paper out of the clipboard and handing it to Kermit.

"Let's see," Kermit said as he looked it over, "Rowlf, you're okay with this music?"

"It looks good to me," Rowlf said. "The band is okay with it, too, but they want stuff with a more hard rock feel to it as well."

"We'll see what we can do," Kermit said. "Uh, Rizzo, do we have all the props we need for now?"

"We need some more o'dat wax fruit for the tropical number," Rizzo said.

"I thought we just bought some of that," Kermit said.

"Yeah..." Rizzo said, "but you know, some of the guys got hungry... it's not my fault the first food we found was wax. Oh, the tummy-aches we had that night!"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Right," he said, and he turned to Scooter. "Are we almost done?"

Scooter was writing furiously. He paused and glanced over the sheet. "I think so," he said. "All we have left is the finance stuff."

"Alright," Kermit said. "You guys go on home, we'll finish up here."

"What?" Pops said, waking up.

"I said go home!" Kermit said.

"Oh," Pops said. "Alright. Good night, then."

"Hey Kermit, you gonna play cards with us later?" Rizzo asked.

"Not tonight," Kermit said.

"Alright," Rizzo said.

"Ritzo, let's go, hokay," Pepe said. "See you at home, Kermin!" They headed down the stairs, slipping where Beauregard had put down too much wax, and falling into an awkward pile of limbs before walking out.

Clifford and Rowlf lagged behind.

"I think I can cover for that light for a little while," Clifford said. "So don't worry about getting a new one right away. It is pretty important, though."

"Right. Thanks, Clifford," Kermit said.

"Hey, good luck with the finances," Rowlf said.

"Thanks," Kermit said. "Oh hey Rowlf? Could you tell Robin to start getting ready for bed?"

"Sure," Rowlf said. "I'll see you two back at the house."

"Later, Kerm!" Clifford said. "Bye Scooter."

"See ya later, guys," Scooter said.

"Bye," Kermit said.

Rowlf and Clifford headed down the stairs, slipped, fell to the ground, brushed themselves off, and left.

"Alright, Scooter," Kermit said. "Let's take a look."

"This bill is definitely higher," Scooter said, pulling out the insurance bill. "It's getting pretty expensive."

Kermit nodded. "All our expenses are going up," he said. "We'll see if we can find another insurance company. In the meantime, let's look at the short-term costs..."

They looked over the list Scooter had been making throughout the meeting, adding up how much everything would cost, discussing ways to save money, figuring out how much money they were actually making.

"It looks like we'll have to hold our breath and squeeze through to that summer special," Kermit said.

"Gee, I hope we can make it that long," Scooter said.

Kermit nodded. "Me too. But if we keep getting audiences like tonight, we should be okay."

Beauregard approached, mop and bucket in hand. "All clean, Kermit!" he said proudly.

"Good," Kermit said. "Why don't you two head home, I'll lock up."

"Okay, boss, but are you sure you don't want any more help?" Scooter asked.

Kermit shook his head. "Nope. You go get some rest."

"Well, alright. Goodnight, Boss, I'll see you at home," Scooter said.

"Goodnight, Kermit," Beauregard said.

"Goodnight, Scooter. Goodnight, Beau," Kermit said.

They walked down the stairs and slipped on the step.

"Oopsy," Beauregard said. "Kermit? Watch out for the slippy step."

"Thanks, Beau," Kermit said. He hurried through the theater, checking that everything was in its place, making sure the windows were closed and the doors were locked, turning off the lights as he went. Closing up the theater had a calming effect on him. He liked being the last one out sometimes. When he was certain that everything was secure, he headed for the back door. But he stopped, and, remembering the slippery step, decided to exit through the lobby instead. He paused when he reached the door and looked back at the empty theater. He hadn't seen the ghost for a while, but... "Frightful night to you, Uncle Deadly," he said. Then he stepped outside, locked the door behind him, and slipped on a banana peel.

He stopped at the corner, where a light haired man sat every night with his clarinet. An old baseball cap with a few coins in it was next to him on the ground. Tonight he played a beautiful but eerie tune. Kermit stood and listened until the song was over and a new song had begun. Then he tossed a quarter into the hat and walked on.