We need the old Kermit: Full Edition

Chapter 11

An athletic teenage boy and his blonde-haired girlfriend were walking down the suburban street hand in hand.

“Look Evan,” the girl said as she pointed to a small sign on the corner, “a yard sale.”

“Forty-four Bronson Lane,” he read. “Isn’t that where that alien lives?”

“What alien?” she asked.

“Don’t you remember, a few years ago, some blue weirdo went on TV and said he was an alien.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “Wanna check it out?”

“Yeah!”

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An old woman peered out through her curtains. “Irving?” she said. “Those crazy people across the street are having a yard sale.”

“The ones who always have explosions?” he asked. “I wonder if they have anything good for sale.”

“Are you strong enough to go?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Let’s go.”

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“How much for this?” A little girl asked, holding up Fozzie’s best joke book.

“Five dollars,” Robin answered. She handed a five-dollar bill to one of the frog scouts and scurried away. “You’re welcome!” Robin called after her.

“What’d you sell?” Rowlf asked.

“Fozzie’s joke book,” Robin said.

“And you actually got money for it?” Rowlf said.

“Thet’s thruty dullers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!” the Swedish Chef said as he handed a book to a man. “Noo remember, fur zee Lemun Creme-a Peee-a receepe-a, it is sooppused tu be-a feefe-a teblespuuns ooff feeneger, nut feefe-a teespuuns ooff feeneger. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!” 

The man nodded, looking a bit baffled as he handed the chef some money.

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Kermit checked the room number again and looked up at Fozzie. Fozzie could see that he was nervous. Finally they walked into the room.

Officer Bill Dakota was making shadow puppets on his bed sheet. He looked up and was surprised to see a frog and a bear in the room. He reached up, touched his bandaged head, and said, “Am I hallucinating?”

“Uh... no, I don’t think so,” Kermit said. “There really is a bear and a frog in here.”

“What about an elephant?” the officer asked.

Fozzie and Kermit glanced at each other. “There’s no elephant in here,” Fozzie said.

“Good, because I don’t see one,” the officer said. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, uh,” Kermit said as he approached the bed, “My name is Kermit the Frog, and this is Fozzie, and, well we just wanted to thank you for what you did for us. I mean, protecting the theater.”

Officer Dakota nodded. “I’d say it was no trouble at all, but that isn’t quite true,” he said. “So I guess I’ll just say You’re Welcome.”

“Yeah,” Kermit said. “Uh, my nephew made this card for you.” He handed the card to the officer.

Bill took the card and smiled a little. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you very much.”