We need the old Kermit: Full Edition

Chapter 20

“Thirty minutes to curtain! Thirty minutes to curtain!” Scooter raced around back stage, keeping a careful eye on his watch. “Thirty min- oh, twenty-nine minutes to curtain, everybody! Twenty nine minutes to curtain!”

Robin watched as his uncle paced in front of his desk. “Well Uncle Kermit,” Robin said, “Are you nervous or excited?”

Kermit paused a moment to think. “Yes,” he said. He started pacing again. “But I’ve done everything I can. Everything is all set, if something goes wrong we’ll deal with it, and until then there’s no reason for me to be nervous. Right?”

“Right,” Robin said.

“Wrong,” Kermit said. “I have to be nervous. It’s part of the job description.” Then he smiled at his nephew. “What about you, Robin? Nervous? Excited? Ready for your big song?”

“More than ready, Uncle Kermit!” Robin said. “I think I’ve been singing it in my sleep!”

“Well that would explain why I’ve been hearing it in my sleep,” Kermit said. He put a hand on Robin’s back. “You’ll do just great.”

“Thanks, Uncle Kermit,” Robin said.

“Oh, Kermie!” Miss Piggy sang out as she emerged from her dressing room. Her hair had been swept back, with her blonde curls hanging down and bouncing with her every step. Her light, summery dress seemed to swirl around her, and Kermit had to admit to himself that she looked beautiful.

“Yes, Miss Piggy?” he said as she approached.

“About the duet,” she said, “Moi was just thinking how wonderful it would be if vous had the other lead?”

Kermit scrunched up his face. “Don’t you think opening night is a little late to make that kind of change?” he said.

“Moi am sure vous could handle it,” Miss Piggy said sweetly.

“Piggy,” Kermit said, “Link is singing that part. I already have some acts, plus I’m hosting the show. And besides, Link would kill me if I took his only spotlight away now.”

Miss Piggy dropped her charm for a moment. “Then moi would kill him,” she almost growled.

“Great,” Kermit said. “Two dead, and nothing accomplished. Let’s just leave it how it is.”

She cranked the charm back up. “Kermie...”

“Piggy!” he snapped, “It’s opening night! We’ll leave it how it is!”

She glared at him for a moment before storming back to her dressing room and slamming the door.

Kermit shook his head and looked at his nephew, who was still sitting on the desk. “Robin?” he said.

“Yes, Uncle Kermit?” Robin said.

“If I can only teach you one thing,” Kermit said, “Don’t ever get involved with a lady pig.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Miss Piggy shouted from her dressing room.

Kermit scrunched up his face. “Sheesh...”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

The audience started colleting their belongings, turning their cell phones back on, and slowly making their way out the theater. On the other side of the curtain, several weeks’ worth of nervous energy was finally coming out.

“We did it!” Fozzie shouted, throwing his hat up in the air as those around him let out shouts and cheers.

“Great job, everybody!” Kermit tried to say over the jamboree. “That was really terrific. Let’s do it again tomorrow night. Really, a great job, everyone...”