Teen girl, Chanel struggling after losing the two most important people In her life, her brother and Father. Stuck with an abusive mother driving her insane. Using drugs heavily. Stripping with her cousin to make any amount of money possible to skip...
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I heard an unfamiliar voice say something from behind me. I turned to see who it was but my vision went against me and I passed out.
Moments later I woke up on the wet floor with a major migraine. As I was going to sit up I felt warm hands on my back. I quickly turned around to see some guy underneath me holding my upper body off the floor. In a panic I quickly tried standing up, but slipped in a puddle behind me, hitting my head on the floor. The guy that I saw before stood on the opposite side of me bending over before me creating a strong eye contact with me.
"Are you ok?" He asked. "Fucking fantastic." He chuckled at my response. "Then I'll leave you to it." He walked closer. "Very funny." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but I'd like if he did leave. Which he did not. "Landon Kingsley." He said as he helped me up off the wet floor. Helping me regain my balance. "Chanel Ivy." He smiled. "Cool name. But are you really ok?" His smile dimmed to concern. "I'll be ok. What are you doing back here? It's kinda late to be roaming the streets of Bronx, no?"
I took his hand as he helped me stand up on my feet. "I'm here for a new job at this club. I was told to meet someone here. Though I could ask you the same." He crossed his arms and kept a distance from me. "Well I work here. And I have to go." I said looking around. "Well nice meeting you!"
He shouted at me, as I began walking away. I didn't dare go back into the club after what just happened. My pulse was even still racing. I sent Serenity a text letting her know I left and that I'll be back tomorrow night. Of course I wouldn't come back for my morning shift after all that. And the embarrassment I just got from this guy, I'm probably going to have to face every day at work. "Fuck my life." I screamed out as the rain began pouring even harder.
Currently 3:18 am. I was going through my emails and was reminded that school starts once again in a week. School was never my favorite scenery, but I had what it takes to be there. I'm a straight A student with a 4.5 GPA score. But school can get very distracting and depressing.
I used to be the girl every guy wanted and every girl wanted to be. She was the girl I pretended to be. She was happy and perfect. With everyone as her friend and the most perfect girl there was in existence. But it wasn't true. I learned that one summer back when I realized I'm not happy, and I'd rather be anywhere else than alive. I let go of all my "friends", and started taking drugs. I even started going to school intoxicated.
The one friend I had, Ruby, left and dropped out to be a drug dealer, a year ago. She's my drug dealer. She's doing well for herself, way better than I am and she's my support system. She's been trying to get me clean the last couple of months and has been sending me to ADAH (anonymous drug addiction help) meetings every Saturday, and Tuesday, sadly today had to be Friday.
I've been lying to my sponsor and telling him I've been sober for the past 120 days. But in reality my addiction is getting worse. To me it's getting better because drugs help me escape reality. And it gives me an alternative version of my life, a better one. 12th grade is my last year before I'm done, with school. I'm not going to college or university.
It was 6AM, I could see the sun start to rise out of the window beside my headboard. Another night unable to sleep. I was getting tired of the restless nights. I really wanted to sleep but I couldn't. I got out of bed and lifted the thick material of my mattress, and pulled out an old makeup bag.
Most of the drugs I had were illegal in New York, and about 85 percent of the US. So I hid it in an old makeup bag under my bed. A while back Ruby had given me something to try. She said it would help me sleep, but it would fuck up all my senses for the next 3 days or kill me. And at this point I couldn't care less if I OD'd on it.
N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. I sat on the cold wooden floor beside my bed and debated if I should take it or not, for the past ten minutes. Eventually I said fuck it, and laid two of the blue pills on my dresser, under a five dollar bill, and started crushing it with the corner of my phone, until I was left with a thin blue powder.
I rolled up the bill, and used it to snort the N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine, as quickly as I could. At first I felt nothing, until my heart rate started speeding up. I started having all the symptoms of a heart attack but I felt so calm at the same time.
I almost felt...𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺. Obviously I don't remember what that feels like.
My vision got blurry, my palms were dripping with sweat, and my room went upside down. I tried standing up to head to my bathroom and splash water on my face. But everything was upside down and I got light headed extremely fast. Whatever had just taken over my body was in control. I had no idea what was going on but time was slow, everything was slow.
I ended up closing my eyes, and everything went black. I slowly started falling backwards and was unable to stop myself. I knew I had hit my head on something by the loud thud that began ringing in my ears. But I didn't feel any pain.
I was so fucking 𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣 to everything around me.
I was trapped inside my head and I wasn't getting out. I could feel whatever was left of my body separating from my soul. I could feel my mind leaving.
I wasn't in control.
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