Bittersweet | Ed Edd N Eddy x Reader

Do Eds Dream of Gravy Sheep?

*3rd Person P.O.V.*

Y/n rested peacefully in her bed, occasionally tossing and turning from the dream, or maybe even nightmare.

Well, whatever it was, it was short lived, because she heard loud bangs from downstairs. She bolted up and waited a second before grabbing the baseball bat that she always keeps under her bed. "Not today, Satan," she mumbled as she walked down the stairs.

She eventually arrived to the reached the doorway to the kitchen, which was where the sounds were coming from. She closed her eyes and shouted a battle cry as she stuck the intruder and they fell to the floor. She opened her eyes only to see...

"Ed? What the fuck is he doing in my kitchen?"

Ed lied there, covered in half-eaten food and snoring, as if he had been asleep for a while. He was in a white tank top and his underwear.

"Ugggghh, might as well," Y/n mumbled as she realized she had to drag him back to his house. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him back to his house and knocked on the door.

"IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, WHAT COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY WANT- Oh, hey Y/n!" Sarah said.

"Hey Sarah. Your brother was in my house eating my food while asleep... somehow."

"Ugh, my stupid brother sleepwalks and breaks into peoples houses and eats their food. It's SO annoying. Thanks for bringing him back though, mom would have killed me."

"No problem," Y/n yawned. "Anyway, I'm outta here. G'night."

Sarah said goodbye and shut the door as Y/n walked back to her house, and shut the door, locking it. She looked into the trashed kitchen. "Mmm, I'll deal with that... tomorrow."

She wandered back upstairs and into her bed, where she immediately passed out. It was the weekend, so she knew she could just sleep in until noon the next day...

...or apparently not. There was an aggressive ringing at the door at around 9am. Y/n groaned and got out of bed, got dressed, and went downstairs. "I'M COMING, I'M COMING. Jesus..."

She opened the door to see the three eds.

"Salutations, Y/n! Can we- uhm- hide in your house for a bit?"

She blinked.

"Ugh... what did you guys do this time?"

"Nothing, we swear! It's the Kankers! They've been annoying us all day!" Eddy screeched, Y/n just noticing the many kiss marks on them.

"...fine. But, I need your guys' help with something."

"Fine, fine! Just let us in!"

The three boys entered Y/n's home, and followed her to the kitchen.

"Woah! What happened?" Ed exclaimed.

"You came in and ate all my food... sleepwalking."

"Oh. Not again! Mom will kill me and take away the stairs again!"

She took a minute to process that.

"...what?"

Suddenly, a loud crash could be heard outside the door. Y/n casually walked up to it, while the eds ran and hid in the now-empty refrigerator. She opened the door to see the three Kanker sisters, looking a bit pissed off, until it turned into surprise.

"Hey, you're that girl we saw all beat up in the forest that one time!" May exclaimed.

"Yeah!" "Totally!"

"...who are you guys again?"

"Well, I'm Lee, and these are my sisters May and Marie. NOW WHERE ARE OUR BOYFRIENDS?!"

"Boyfriends? I don't know who you could possibly be referring to."

"The eds! You know who they are if ya' live here. I can smell them!" Marie shouted.

"Can you? Well, they certainly aren't here, so how about you-"

Before she could finish her sentence, the Kankers shoved her out of the way, walking into her house. Marie sniffed the air.

"Hey! This is trespassing!"

"What are you gonna do, call the cops?!" Lee responded.

"No, screw the cops, ACAB. I'm gonna beat the crap outta you guys, though."

She grabbed her bat (which she accidentally left downstairs), and swung at Marie, but the blue-haired girl dodged. The Kanker got a good look at her face, and...

"Hey, you're kinda cute~."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah! For a goth-y mess, you're really cute," Marie said, getting closer and closer to Y/n. The other Kankers got a good look at the h/c-haired girl.

"Yeah!" "Oh my gosh she totally is cute!"

Suddenly, Y/n was hit with a wave of compliments and praise towards her looks. Y/n, however, had no idea what to say.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thank... you?"

"Oh my gosh your so awkward, I love it!"

The Kankers giggled at Y/n, as she stood there, confused and bat in hand.

"I don't think being awkward is a good thing," Y/n muttered, but the other girls just giggled more. "Uhm, you guys came here for your boyfriends, right? So if I give them to you, you guys will go away and, I dunno, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE?!"

"No! I want you to be my girlfriend instead!"

"No, she's mine!"

"Can it, knuckleheads! She obviously likes me best!"

The three other girls began to battle as Y/n slowly crept to the kitchen. She opened the fridge... only to see no one there.

"God dammit!"

"Huh? Where did she go?!"

The eds walked down the alleyway, having escaped through Y/n's back door.

"I can't believe we left Y/n to the hands of the kankers! I hope she's doing all right."

"She'll be fine, Double D. She's, like, the stereotypical super strong unfeeling girl with a hidden soft side that every fanfic uses!"

"Eddy, stop breaking the fourth wall. We need to wait till 1+1= Ed for that."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Don't you worry your empty little head," Eddy stated, patting Ed on the back. "You'll understand later."