What are you reading?

I

Following as he sits there thinking ...
and thinking ...
how much he wants it to be over ...
how much he wants it all to end ...
He stands up ,
thinking ...
thinking about how nobody would miss him...
He thought .
for hours .
standing alone .
for hours .
He was done thinking done crying .
done with life .
He jumped off the bridge into the icey cold waters "goodbye "
was all he could mutter before he hit water . freezing .
passed out .
tears on his cheeks hair wet .
He washed ashore .
onto a cold , lonely beach .
in his hand , was a photo of
him "

For fact, he still stood there.
With everyone looking at him.
It was weird ,but more for Mark then for Haechan.
It was like everyone just started to see that he didn't smiled like he used to
His eyes looked dark and sad
His hair didn't fall down smoothly like it did before
His clothes stayed ,he still liked gorgeous in his clothes having a perfect style but so much changed and they saw it now.

He understood what is happening but he couldn't figure out why ,was it what he said or what did just happen.

His revealing shirt? But it's just the hands and a part of a arm so that shouldn't be the cause ,
Maybe just his words. Or he's just thinking to much again. But no one said anything, the teacher didn't ,Mark didn't , the other students didn't. He was planning on going on his seat wondering how this just happened .

Mark couldn't stand it and got his and Haechan's  things and left with him. He's confused ,he still couldn't hear something and got mad,it's not that it's silent, it's that everyone looked at him in pity without an reason, he haven't revealed anything or showed anything. Why are they like that.

"Mark."

"I don't know okay "

"Mark."

"Did you look at yourself these days? You're like dying inside and it's starting to show. "
"I just wanted to get my things but yes okay thanks buddy " he smiled ripped his things out of Marks hand and went outside. When Mark arrived he already had his cigarette , burning it to inhale the smoke wich is probably the reason why 40 people are dying in this second.

[conclusion:don't smoke kids]

"Since-" "not long " he cutted Marks words off

"So uhm. Wanna grab lunch with me? My mom cooks today and maybe you wanna eat with us this time " Mark asked hoping the boy would say yes because he's being pretty negative towards food.
"No I'm sorry I'm busy today, maybe a other day. Thank you through Mark, see ya "
He left immediately after , hoping Mark wouldn't try to convince him to come with him this time.

He eventually had another three cigarettes on his way home but that's it . Things got all complicated with His mom after that one night where she saw him after months. Well yes she saw him kinda everyday but she never paid attention to anything. She hasn't noticed the thrown away food all the time, that all he asked for were bananas and sprite to throw up, wich she obviously hadn't noticed too.
She hasn't paid attention to the growing eye bags wich look really horrible and the late nights where he disappeared for days ,thinking he's having a sleepover but it would take to much time to just ask him where he is.

It's funny, people always say "you should've showed us or told us " but she should have noticed that her son, isn't there anymore. He's not the happy word loving boy she raised. He left when she left as a mom , presence doesn't mean attending.
And now she's all shocked that her son could possibly die every minute ,because of his weight. Wich is bullshit but she couldn't stop thinking it
This huge thing is actually

hilarious.

So well who couldn't be understanding when he enters the street and sees his moms car.
Well knowing what could happen he prepared,mentally. She would never hit him or anything that's not how she raised him. But she's pretty verbally offensive and impulsive ,wich is probably as worse as abusive behave is.

He stayed in font of the door for a while ,stood there like 10 minutes hoping he's finding the courage to go inside. He's talented to expect the worst that could happen so his feelings were always pretty exciting.

He did it. He entered the house ,finding his mom making sounds in the kitchen. Dumb idea but he went to see what she's doing there.

Cooking. She's cooking. Wait- what. She's cooking?

"Mom?"
" oh Haechan! My son. I didn't hear you, why are you here ?"

Is she drunk? Or-

"I came from school like always you know "
"Oh yeah sure ofcourse. You wanna eat something??" "Eh no, I already ate with Mark and his family I'm good ."

"What? Who's Mark "
"He's a friend. He's going in my class for years now I told you about him, remember ?"

"Oh yes I remember. Haha"

Yeah she's drinking again. There were a lot of bottles ,and she's acting like she did a year ago.
Fun.

"Mom I told you to stop drinking it's not good"
He tried to take the bottle but his mom were faster ,pulling it away fast. "It's not your place to care. " she's getting sassy and that's pretty 'dangerous ' when she's drunk.
"Mom ,give me the Bottle .I thought you stopped" he actually got a grip and tried to take the bottle but his mom freaked out and hit the bottle on his arm causing it to break .