Writing From when I'm bored

Why?

Why? Why do you lie
Is it a force of habit
Is it all that you can do
Have you been lying for so long that you don't want to tell the truth

Why? I didn't do anything
I get myself out of your toxic grasp but to no avail.
You still manage to do this to me
You scramble my brain
Make my stomach sick with anxiety

I hate that I can't hate you,
After everything I can't hate you
After the lying
The talking behind my back
The judging me
The swearing at me
I can't hate you no matter what,

So why?
Why do you lie to me?
Please tell me?
You can't any time I ask you about it or prove you wrong you act like I don't exist like I've never mattered to you

Are you really that damn stubborn and self absorbed that you don't think you affect me?
You have hurt me so bad to the point I cause myself physical pain not just emotional and you do not care in the slightest?

A/N: stuffs been happening and I feel so drained and sad and my anxiety's getting worse to the point I'm getting physically ill. I love you guys.